Finally, Pictures!!!

Den bought me a new camera this last week. You see, I love photography! I have never owned an SLR digital camera though, and have made do with my other cameras. However, I have always grieved the thought that the window of opportunity to shoot my own children while they are young, with the sort of quality that I knew an SLR is capable of made me a little weepy. Either way I knew I would enjoy all my photos, but now that I have one I would like to get a lot better at taking photographs.

I find that I lean towards photos of people. I love capturing beauty in others. I dont mean just the posed kind either. Nor do I mean the kind of beauty that models have, but the beauty of thought, moments, and just real life. That is my kind of photography. Those kinds of photos just suck me in.

Anyway, I took so many pictures it was sort of ridiculous. I love that I could just delete the many many bad ones and hold on to some of the good ones. I have some posed photos, but I have some great photos that were also taken that were REAL. Moments I had hoped I would capture in my lifetime. So when these days are vague distant memories we can remember the moments behind the scenes. The moments that make a life. My life.....

I gave Den the camera so he could snap away at his stuff, and he caught this of Abram and I. Abram was asking me when we would get to go fishing again. I think I will always remember our conversation when I look at this picture. (I never would have let Den take a picture of me from behind, but this moment in time means everything to me.)

This picture of a 19 month old can't be forced. This was truly a photo of Bo letting us know he was weary with the camera at this point. LOL

This was Boaz still grimacing at the camera. Since the face hiding wasn't working he tried to plug his ears. I had never seen him plug his ears before. I was surprised he knew how to do that....hahaha

Again, Bo was not being Mr. Cheesy and Den had mentioned that he wasn't smiling...so I was trying to sneak a peek....

We were trying to be creative behind this log...but I love how the little ones are just doing their thing. PERFECT!

Okay, I hate pictures of me laughing. Let me be honest, Im not super fond of pictures of me. But I am determined to show up more in family photo albums. I want the boys to remember me in lots of different moments. I was trying to get the boys to give me a kiss at the same time, but there was a fast little stream beside us and Den was stressing that the boys were going to fall in, and the chaos of it just struck me funny!! (You know it's real because hands and body parts are blurred from the movement.) Love that!

Abram and Roman were being super silly on some stumps and I just snapped away. I love this animated photo of my little Roman.

This flower is found behind my ear all summer and spring long. Why? Because my little boys are always plucking them from the ground, hiding them behind their backs, and gifting them to me, waiting for the yellow blossom to be placed behind my ear. I ALWAYS oblige, ALWAYS!

This is another photo of Roman and Boaz on those stumps. While Abram is trying to find his zen, Roman is on a whole other level....hehehe

We thought this little bridge would make an awesome back drop with all the fall leaves and green trees. Just as I was getting ready to get a picture taken with Roman I noticed that he had some toddler leftovers on his tiny mouth, and like a good mama I used my saliva to wipe it clean (Only babies and toddlers will tolerate that)...lol Den snapped away....good job Daddy!!

Levi took this of his parents. Its posey, but I can see by my body language just how happy Den makes me, and I know how much he loves me. What a good feeling...when I see this.

Levi is 14, and since River and Isaiah are in their own place I know that my time left with Levi is limited. He isn't my baby, per say, anymore. Our relationship is evolving...and our body language shows that we are good friends. I not only LOVE Levi, but I really enjoy him!

Lovin' The Neighborhood

Mornings at our new house is divine. I love living over here for a few great reasons. First of all, the house is small enough that when we get up early in the morning, and if I've done my nightly chores, the house feels cozy and relatively warm. Our last house was gorgeous and large, but it was also brutally drafty. I mean we had 8 doors and I have no idea how many large picturesque windows that weakly fought the drafts. All that I know is that it was a beast to keep warm on a fall or winter day. This house is so snug that if someone is drinking a hot cup of coffee we can feel the heat in the other room. Okay that may be a slight exaggeration, but you get the drift. This is important since if you know me AT ALL, I hate hate hate being cold and that horrible pet peeve doesn't rear it's ugly head that often in this house.

Secondly, this year Levi is going to school (he hasn't been to school since 3rd grade), he is a freshman and he is doing quite well, so far. Anyway, over at this house he can walk to school, rather than taking the bus at 7:15am. He doesn't have to leave our house until 8am, and therefore gives us plenty of time to chat and relax on any given morning.

Thirdly, Abram and Levi are both in football (different teams, obviously) and they are able to walk to the field for all their practices. This frees up mommy! I have walked there with the two littles, but again I can walk there. Everything is close and convenient.

Fourthly, the walk to the grocery store is equally close. I can nab a gallon of milk, or this morning a container of laundry detergent at the last minute. It makes my life so much simpler and with three boys at home and all that I try to accomplish in a day I feel like I have everything at my fingertips in the small neighborhood community.

Lastly, but certainly not least is that Mary lives in this very neighborhood. Their little family is walking distance. The other night Den and I walked over to hang out with them. We loaded the little boys in our double stroller, Abram hopped on his bike and Den and I waltzed over as a family on a warm fall day. I am happy. There are trade-offs and I could give you the other side of the perspective of country life too, but I have to say at this phase of my life I appreciate the simplicity of neighborhood living.

Convenience Shouldn't Come First

I am loving this Fall weather. The weather is starting to get nippy but the sun is still shining. It's time to start making soups and such. There is nothing like the aroma of warm soup simmering in a crockpot on an Autumn day, maybe throw a little bread in to bake as well.

One of the wonderful things about homemade soup or homemade anything, for that matter, is that I control what goes in to the recipe. I can make sure the ingredients are fresh and healthy. I have been trying for the last few years to be better about making healthy choices for my family but find it difficult to embrace the lifestyle all around. Let me be perfectly honest...I'm lazy. lol The grocery store is full of easy "grab and go" foods for our children, and when I'm busy it is so simple to just throw something in the microwave and voila' food is ready for children. However, my microwave is sort of making me feel yucky as a parent. I find that the more I learn about microwaves and what they do to your foods the more concerned I become. I heard...(although I havent done the serious research) that the high heat from our microwaves changes the enzymes and the metabolics of our food so that the body doesn't know what to do with the so-called food and therefore just turns it into fat inside the body. That is not okay!!! I love my microwave...it's red! hahaha It matches my kitchen....seriously how pathetic am I? I need to just get rid of it. I can warm up stuff the old fashioned way, even invest in a countertop toaster oven. Yes,it takes a little longer, but the taste is far superior. When I cook chicken nuggets or french fries in my oven the boys rave about it. I would like to get away from even prepared foods at all, but I am taking baby steps as I go. So today we will have some homemade soup and homemade bread for dinner. Something healthy that my families' bodies can actually use and will keep them strong and healthy. Join me as I experiment with different natural sugars and recipes and I explore getting back to earth and the way God intended for us to eat and live our lives.

Stop And Smell The Rubber

What joy the most simplistic item can bring children, and it's quite contagious. Bro. Matt and Sis. Tisha gave my boys a bag of goodies from Ruby's birthday party and inside the bag of many treats were balloons. Well those balloons have brought the boys in this house great joy!! Thankfully there were more than just a couple because you know how balloons happen to pop and fizzle while being played with by active little boys.

The first thing that Abram decided to do was to grab a marker and to draw faces on each of the balloons. This is when I realized that he has quite the artistic little flair. In fact, a couple of them made me giggle. Of course, I had to leave my own mark on the red one by drawing a jack o' lantern face. As I sat in the recliner, in the living room, the boys were all in a fervor over the balloons being bopped with intensity in to the air, and they would wait with loud panted breath as they would slowly billow back down, only to be hit with full steam in to the air again. The laughing that came from Boaz made the moment absolutely priceless. I had to get in on that action by batting a few ballons myself; making sure that the balloon was well placed above my 18 month old, who had his tiny pudgy arms extended as high they would allow so that he could tackle the colorful piece of stretched rubber. Oh the sound the ballon would make as it screamed out from the pressure and rubbing; all the while I would whence a little here and there waiting to see if the balloon would "POP"!

This activity burned me out after a few minutes but it kept my boys enthusiastic for about an hour as they came up with more and more games that tied in with the expressions that were drawn on the ballons. Having three little boys makes me so happy and causes me to stop and smell the.......uhhhh....rubber....hehehe

A Day Is A Year and Vice Versa

Okay so here I go with a second post. I'm on a roll! hehehe

What if you thought you only had a year left, or even two years left? Would you look at your daily life differently? I think we should all look at life that way, I mean none of us know the day nor the hour. For me it would be impractical to live every day as if it was truly my last, because if I truly believed it was my last day on this earth I would probably spend every moment of that day in prayer. Maybe in earnest solitude with the Lord, nothing else would compare than meeting my maker in that hour. However, thinking about a year left changes things. I want to live my life that way. What kind of a mother and wife would I be? What kind of sister in the Lord? Wouldn't I be better about making all of those phone calls? Maybe I would have more people in my home gathered around the dinner table talking on good things? Always squeezing in the "I love you's" that I already try to share. Of course the answer for me would be yes to all of the above, and honestly yes to alot more things not listed. I would probably let a lot of things go and be careful to never carry a grudge. I would remember to smile a lot, laugh, and rejoice in each day that I was given. Wouldn't that be a wonderful way to live out your last year? I am sure that if Den said Trina let's go here for church, or let's do this, I would be less selfish for my flesh and more anxious to live in the spirit. I know that I live my life more in the "that's not so convenient for me right now" mode. What a waste of time. I'm going to be more careful with my speech and more diligent to think and dwell on good things. I mean maybe I have 10-30 years left, or maybe today will be a day of judgement for me....I don't know...but I'm going to live my life one year at a time to strike a healthy harmonious balance. Every day counts when you only have 365 of them, right?

Confirmations

Okay I am determined to blog again. I have a new sense of purpose. This is my legacy to my children so that they will never forget me....

The Lord has been speaking to me and I realize that writing is so very important to me and so my writing will continue on.

You know there have been times in my life where I didn't feel the Lord as close as I should have. Times that I wondered where He was at all; all the while knowing that it was only me that was missing in that important equation. Lately, I have been experiencing that emptiness. I guess. Maybe not truly missing it all together, but any degree of that makes me uncomfortable. How easy it is to let life run away with you and how quickly the day to day tasks of life can consume your every thoughts; and prayer becomes an after thought. Not okay. I was sitting in meeting last Thursday night and Den had got down to pray. Then I realized that I wasn't really seeking the Lord with my heart to pray, so I began to examine myself, and truth be told I didn't really want to openly pray. After all, I had a lot of things I needed to apologize to the Lord about and NOW wasn't a good time, then again NOW never seemed to be a good time, lately. Then I realized NOW is exactly the right time. After I got up I felt lighter, but I began to feel a little blue. (How quickly my emotions run different colors.) The meeting was rather slow and I was becoming quickly discouraged with the silence. I was starving; I had come to be spiritually fed. I began to have a private conversation with the Lord in my head. I very clearly began to question the promise of where two or three are gathered there would His spirit be also, so I began to beg the Lord to make Himself known. I mean, there was several of us there that evening. No sooner had I concluded my petition when Den got up and said, "Brethren, where two or three are gathered there is His spirit also. Are you truly seeking it, or are you just in the room half- heartedly looking around?" Warm wet tears streamed down my face. It was a confirmation for me. Thank you God!

God has been giving me lots of little confirmations. Sure I could say well that was a coincidence or that was just common knowledge, but I know. I know in my heart who I am dealing with. The ALMIGHTY GOD! So today I havent felt great. I have been laying in bed with a heat pad considering my life and my relationship with Him. I'm not where I want to be. I'm standing too far, but He is God and I am but a servant; so I am going to pick up my skirt so as to get there a little faster and find a seat a little...no a lot...closer to my Lord. This way I can hear Him. I love when He speaks to me, there is no better feeling in the world. None.

Some new house pics. We moved a little under 2 weeks ago, but we are making progress quickly. The house is very small compared to our last house. The last house was 3800sqft. and this house is 1800sqft. You do the math on that one.....hahaha But I do love it! I am just having to pare back and make sure that everything we keep has a place in the house. I can definitely live my life that way, anyway. So here are a few pics for you to visualize with me.....

Well here I am, back at it.....posting. I haven't really missed blogging for this short spurt, but then again I have taken these sorts of hiatus' in the past and they were really good for me. They gave me a little clarity and some time to not rethink life; just experience it.

Okay so we have moved. We are officially in our new home. We are buying it! It is much smaller but it's all mine and I'm really excited to just have the what ifs done. The last house was gorgeous, large and full of land but the owner just wasn't getting his permits in order and Den and I became more and more anxious about it. Then the older boys struck it out on their own and the house just seemed like less and less of a good fit. The responsibilites of it all was too much for just Den and I. Although I miss it a little, I am incredibly happy to be simplifying and downsizing our lives. I have discovered that I need to have a huge yard sale in a few weeks to get rid of all the extras. We tried to cram all of our furniture in this house, and for most the part we have succeeded....(LOL), but some of it just would NOT fit! So it will need to go....and soon. I also went through the boys' closet and cleaned out the clothes that don't fit or were wore out and we still have too much; at least for the little boys. You see, we have had lots of boy hand-me-downs and then I always think they need a little of this and a little of that and then "boom" the closet is packed to the brim.

So with only 4 boys living at home things have taken a remarkable turn. We see River and Isaiah all the time, but they are in their own little trailer. River owns it, and is so excited to be accomplishing it all on his own. Isaiah seems to be a good fit with him. He has been traveling quite a bit to Eugene to see a little girl that he has taken quite the shine too. River only wishes he could see his girl as frequently, but she lives all the way in Colorado. Anyhooo, so I don't cross any lines on the discretion homefront I will change subjects. This has Levi as the oldest at home. He has his own room, Abram has his own room and Roman and Boaz are sharing a room. It's a neat but strange turn events for the family. I find that with Levi busying himself with sports and such that I am the primary caretaker again. Not that I wasn't before, but I certainly could run here or there, independently, and now I have the three youngest with me all the time again. It's sort of like going back in time 10 years. I think it gives me a new appreciation for it all over again.

So this weekend we will be heading to the Oregon Campout, as usual. The boys are pumped! I believe my Uncle Jon and Aunt Lanetta are due in tomorrow to spend the day and night with us before we all head out. More posts to come soon.