I Work From Son Up To Son Down

Learning To Be Quiet

2012-01-28T08:54:00.000-08:00

Well I managed to do a great job catching the vicious little cold that my littles had. I do have skills!

This morning I was still laying in bed when Roman came in and asked me out of the clear blue sky if I slept well last night (Something I ask the boys frequently). I said, "Well it wasn't horrible, but it could have been better because I have this really bad cold right now." He stood there and pondered my words quietly for a bit, as he does regularly. As he stood there quietly beside my bed I asked Abram if he would fix me a cup of hot tea. As Abram and I began bantering back and forth this is what Roman said.

Roman: Mom?.....Mom?
Me: Yes?
Roman: Do you think you could be quiet for a little bit so I can pray for you?
Me: Yes....I think I CAN be quiet for a little bit so you can pray for me.....*insert a little chuckle*

Then Roman bowed down and prayed a long silent prayer, and while he prayed for me I prayed a silent prayer for him.

Roman: In Jesus name. Amen.

All is Well. All IS Well.....

I Borrowed Trouble....AGAIN...

2012-01-23T07:51:00.000-08:00

As I said in my previous post we went to see Dale and Chantel. We arrived Thursday night and returned last night (Sunday), well honestly it was crazy early Monday by the time we got home. We ran into some frustrating little hiccups all night long once at the airport in Denver, but we managed, as usual.

As soon as I walked in the door I felt lighter. Not for any other reason, but because I was tired of feeling blue. I was tired of carrying around trouble.

You see, we went to church in Fort Lupton and I could feel the spirit as soon as we sat down. Den got a prophecy by Bro. Zach (the deliverance was crystal clear and I found out later it was his first prophecy to speak), but not one word spilled over to me. I had been praying and praying and I was sure that this was THAT moment, and that's when it happened....I borrowed trouble....a whole heap of it.

I picked up a burden that I didn't need to carry. Once I placed in on my heart tears began to fall. My inner voice began to talk to the Lord, "What was I going to do?" "How could He not speak to me AGAIN?" I felt shunned. I felt crushed...heart broken...and that's where it got it's strong hold around my heart and it was painful..heavy...burdensome.

I prayed about it, but the focus on the pain was too deep. I could hear this tiny voice in the back of my own fierce voice saying, "All is well. All is well." But I didn't believe it. In fact, it stole my joy the rest of that day. I put on a brave face after a bit, but my heart was still bound up. So very very bound up....

Den and I stayed relatively quiet from the Denver airport on....I had a headache and he had a lot to consider in his own life, I'm sure. But then as we got off the plane and was driving home we began to count our blessings out loud. How beautiful Portland was, how just sleeping in our bed sounded so delicious that late at night, seeing the boys in the morning all began to lighten my borrowed burden. Then I started to hear that voice a little louder....a little clearer. "All is well today."

I began to remind myself of the ministry that went forth that very day, at that point it seemed almost like a lifetime ago. I thought it went into my heart at church, but I realized when I picked up this burden I lost it all. But as Den and I began to count our blessings I could remember. I remembered about hope, courage, temperance. It was coming back to me now.

When we got to our house, I dropped it at the door. I seriously did. I didn't bring it in with me. Now it's right outside, I can feel it. I'll be tempted to go get it from time to time, because I know my flesh, but it won't be good for me. Somehow that burden is tempting though.

So this morning, while still laying in the dark of the morning I began to recount Dale and Chantel's answered prayers (those little girls) and I had more courage. I looked up at the ceiling of an old house that God promised us before we ever left Brewster, and it made me grateful. I thought about all the answered prayers that God has delivered on and I had hope, courage and a smile on my face.

I don't have the strength to add the DIS to my courage today. No, today all I need is the courage that God gave me. Help me not to put upon myself things that are not of thee, Lord.

(Roman is playing around quietly on the piano, Bo has sat in my lap for a really long time quietly letting me kiss on him, and the boys are all giving me kisses telling me how much they missed us. Today, life is good. Today I am blessed. Forgive me Lord for my shortcomings, and thank you for all that you give me anyway!)

Catch up!

2012-01-23T07:37:00.000-08:00

Christmas in this old house was wonderful. It was everything I had hoped it would be and the size of this old house was perfect! Thank you, again, Lord for this old house of ours.

We put everything away after the New Years and it was nice to see everything return back to normal. I always love to see the lights and all the decorations, but it's also refreshing to see everything tucked away and the home back to it's uncluttered self again.

I had gotten really sick for a few days on New Years, but the Lord was merciful and I recovered. The brethren and my parents were so good to take care of me and my family. Even though it was a great trial, I can see the beauty of the Lord working.

We missed Dale and Chantel's adoption party that was the week after New Years, because of my sickness. We had bought airline tickets to attend months before, however we managed to bump out the tickets for 3 weeks later. I believe the Lord's hand was all over the timing though. We just returned home late last night/or very early this morning, really. Spending time with them and their 2 beautiful little girls and, of course, Andy was good for our souls. We ate and ate and ate and we spent quiet days enjoying one another.

We went to church there in Fort Lupton and I was able to meet all the people that she has vividly told me about, and I wasn't disappointed. They are all kind brethren. We also had a beautiful meeting with some amazing singing. After church we visited for a bit and were invited to Bro. Landis and Sis. Miranda's home; to which I must say was gorgeous! She made a delicious dinner and we had some good visiting on life and God.

Shortly after we headed to the airport and reached home sweet home.

This post is mostly for me. It's a reminder of God's goodness and not very entertaining. However, this is my life... :)

Christmas Getaway

2011-12-16T11:13:00.000-08:00

The funny thing is when Levi went down to the basement to snag our suitcase and brought it into the dining room I knew that it was like setting out honey for flies. Guess what? I was right! Here kiddy kiddies come to my trap...I mean suitcase!

There is something about boxes and suitcases for kids that beckons them to crawl inside and play. And today was no different!

Den and I are going to spend the weekend downtown. It's Den's annual company Christmas party, and most years we try to make it a whole weekend getaway too. So this afternoon I am packing. Making sure that my dress ensemble is ready to go, and Den's suit is all set as well. It's a beautiful soiree, and all the glitz makes me melt, but then put in 300 people that I have to mingle with and it sort of .....taints it... but hey...it's a party, right?

Anyway, the highlight is Den and I time. So excited! Hotel, cable (we haven't seen a commercial or a current tv show in 10 months), a big soaking tub, and some long walks downtown at Christmas time with my man. Yeah, that sounds pretty good about now!

Sooo....I'm thinking that opening up our heavy clunky suitcase and finding two little rascals in it may not be setting the right mood. Even though their giggles are pretty contagious!

Homemade Almond Roca Part 2

2011-12-15T08:02:00.000-08:00

So, this morning, I took the almond roca out of the fridge. You can see that the whole slab of it will lift straight out of the cookie sheet. In fact, I flipped it over so you could see the underneath side.

Then it's all about cracking it into pieces. The first blow or two is easy, but then I normally use the handle of a knife to beat it to smithereens! I don't want the pieces to be too small or crumb like, just the put finger to mouth size, as you see in the tins.

So tins are now full and ready for Den to take to work! I hope he gets a Christmas bonus this year, if so babe you know it was all about the almond roca and nothing more! hehehehe

Homemade Almond Roca

2011-12-14T20:49:00.000-08:00

Here are the ingredients. Pretty basic. 3 bags of milk chocolate chips, 2lbs. (REAL)butter (salted) not margarine, 2 cups of sugar, and a large bag of sliced almonds.

I am making a double batch for Den's work in the pictures, but the numbers I give are for a single batch. The cookie sheet you see in the photo above is a commercial size, but you will use a normal size one for a single batch. Don't forget that candy thermometer. I had to run to the store to replace mine AGAIN.

The first step is to pour a bag and a half of chocolate chips on a cookie sheet with half a bag of almonds. Just like you see above.

Unwrap 2 lbs of butter cubes. That's alot of butter! But oh sooo good in this recipe!

I just thought you should appreciate the amount of wrappers on my counter from the slabs of butter. ;-) (Oh I should mention that I doubled this recipe and yet the amounts I am mentioning are for a single batch.)

Then you add 2 cups of sugar to the pot.

After all the butter is melted with the sugar it looks like a creamy yellow sauce.

Then all you do is stir on med/low until the mixture gets to 300 degrees on the candy thermometer. This takes CONSTANT stirring and some patience.

The color should start to turn more brown as it starts to thicken and carmelize. This is what it looks like at 300 degrees. It also starts to pull away from the sides of the pot.

Then you pour it hot right onto your prepared cookie sheet and smooth the carmely candy out.

After the whole pan is covered you add the other bag and a half of chocolate chips and half a bag of almonds.

Then I smear the whole thing to cover the entire pan. It's ready to go into the refrigerator. I let mine stay in overnight. Then I break it apart and put it into tins for Den to take to work. Or you can just break it into pieces and put into a container for your own family! It's so good! Enjoy!

Update: Peace Pillow

2011-12-14T13:09:00.000-08:00

Poor little "Peace" pillow!

It tried to bring peace into this house, but obviously it wasn't strong enough.

Boaz, being the worst culprit, just couldn't leave it alone.

The "Peace" pillow will need to be taken into the emergency room soon, just so that it doesn't lose all it's stuffing.

Very little peace, in this house, with Bo around.... at least for the little battered pillow.

Zelda

2011-12-14T08:42:00.000-08:00

Here she is. Our new kitten. In training.

Right now she doesn't seem very formidable. But do you see the little piece of blue tape on the rug in front of her? Well that little piece of blue tape has been clawed and batted at for some time now. Long enough for me to grab my camera, sit on the rug and take a picture....sooooo....

Okay this doesn't prove anything about her intelligence or her fierceness, but I'm a "look at the glass half full" kind of cat owner.

So far we are still getting acquainted with our little Zelda.

Right now the whole family has put all their hopes and dreams into this little feline.

Save us Zelda!!

Zelda? Focus kitty!

Okay okay... now leave the little piece of blue tape alone now and sniff out the villains!

Well..... at least she is cute....

A Creature WAS Stirring!

2011-12-12T10:36:00.000-08:00

Tammy made some little chocolate covered cherry mice for our Christmas party this year! How cute are these? Wouldn't it be great if this was our little varmint problem? But you know where you see one....

There are 100 you don't......

Varmints!

2011-12-08T11:52:00.000-08:00

(All I want for Christmas is a Varmint Trap)

I have been a tad jumpy lately. You see we have a rodent problem. It could be a squirrel, a rat or a raccoon, honestly we don't know what is going BUMP BUMP CLAW GNAW in the night. All I know is that it is something pretty darn big!

The first time I heard it Den was at church and I was home alone with just Roman. I was on the computer when I kept hearing the loudest sound coming from the kitchen. I was pretty sure that our ice maker was on the fritz or something. As the noise continued, and even increased, I thought that our fridge was going to give out on us. But something just didn't sound quite right...

So I hopped up and slowly walked towards the kitchen and I could hear the sound of something tearing away at wood down below the kitchen sink. I hopped up on the island afraid that whatever little demon was making all the racket may very well come bounding out from under the sink and run around the kitchen with me. It was quite unsettling....or heart racing...or TERRIFYING!

After Den came home I told him about the noise and he thought it was a mouse. I was certain I knew what kind of noise a mouse made and this was far more fierce and intense, but you know us girls and our vivid scary imaginations (insert eye rolling...hehehe).

Of course, the sound didn't make an ovation, to which I was relieved, but also a little frustrated that I seemed like a silly woman.

That night...late late into the night that booger started to do the same song and dance but this time it sounded like it was in the walls of our bedroom. It was so loud that Den hopped up and started doing the boogy dance to try to scare it away. It stopped, but only for a bit and went right back to gnawing at wood. A TAD UNSETTLING in the wee hours of the dark....

Hoping that whatever it was wouldn't make it's grand entrance after Den was at work I would hear that horrible racket after Den would leave in the mornings, when the house was still dark. Pitch dark.This little beast was making it's way around the inside of our walls, or at least I hoped that this was the case, always worried to catch the little bandit red handed with no way of beating the daylights out of it!

Needless to say, Den came home last night and went into the basement to lay varmint traps, when we noticed that the hot water pipe from under the kitchen sink had been gnawed right through. So for the last several days it had been pouring hot water all over the basement floor. A little spendy and messy discovery.

Then it all started to come together. The bird seed bags that were at the top of the stairs leading down into the basement kept getting spilled. I thought it was just the carelessness of the boys, but now I understood that it was the varmint that was tearing into the bag and eating...probably growing in size everyday! Right outside my living room! Okay this may be where Den thinks I have a vivid imagination....I mean I do, but it's also on the money!!

So we have left glue traps for the little scoundrel. Surprisingly, we heard nothing for the first time last night. Maybe it was all the activity that was going on last night in the basement by Den and Abram....but eventually that rat, raccoon, squirrel will be back. It will get stuck on the glue trap and probably cry out with fear and frustration and it will probably be fighting for it's life to try to release itself from the glue trap. It will probably be the one right by the door to my living room so I can jump on the couch and scream and it will most likely happen while Den is at work....yeah looking forward to THAT evening....

To be continued.....

Peace Pillow Obsession

2011-12-06T14:14:00.000-08:00

The funniest thing about these pictures are how Boaz would NOT leave my "Peace" pillow alone. Peace, my foot, this little pillow was being bombarded all the live long day. I just purchased it on sale at JoAnn's, and thought it would look really cute on my green couch. No big deal, right? But I keep finding it upstairs or other places, all over the house. So I thought it would make a funny little post about the challenges of trying to have something cute in a house with a bunch of children. And as I began to take a picture of the pillow Boaz jumped on the couch and streeeetched out his little hand to touch the pillow. I had to laugh.

And so I started to shoot a retake and quickly he hopped up there again to be in the "Peace Pillow" picture...What's with the obessesion? lol (Notice the blurry feet)

One more time....seriously started laughing...by now...

Finally, the other boys who were watching the scene decided that they would like to be in the "Peace Pillow" picture too! Why not...
(Notice who is wallowing on the pillow AGAIN! hahaha)

How Much Do YOUR Kids Love You?

2011-12-02T15:29:00.000-08:00

Boaz: Mom, I luv youuu...

Me: I love you too, Boaz.

Boaz: I love you six!

Me: You love me six? giggle

Boaz: Okay I love you seven....

Watch Out For My Coffee!

2011-12-02T06:27:00.000-08:00

Shouldn't my house smell like coffee?Not because I am brewing a fresh divine pot, but because more coffee has been spilled in this house then lysol!

This is where today's post begins...

I'm lodging a complaint or maybe it's a conundrum....

You see I get my hot cup of coffee with creamer and I find myself a little spot to enjoy it while I'm on the computer, or on the phone and I nestle in. Sounds all cozy and harmless, right? Well, herein lies the problem.

No matter WHERE I place this precious cup, in between my scrumptious sips, someone will knock it over. It's almost a talent that we have been born with. Sometimes it's a foot, or a light saber, or something else gets knocked over along side it and like a domino effect causes the coffee to drain into my many colored living room rug (strategically chosen just for coffee spills). I'm starting to think I need to have a category on my blog labeled "coffee spills", trust me it would be chug-full!

You see, coffee stains! It's hot brown liquid that is very difficult to get out of stuff unless you get on it right away, and then it really only depends what it was spilled on and how much of it, which in this story is often an entire cup.

Now I'm going to give myself proper credit here and admit that I have spilled my fair share of cups while lounging in my bed. Sometimes I spill it without any help from an outside source, but this is often not the case, often the case is some little human will come pouncing on my bed unannounced unexpected and when I say pounce I mean "tigger" pouncing! It sounds all Hallmark commercial, but believe me in THAT moment with hot brown liquid rolling all over white sheets and king size comforter... IT'S NOT!

Okay let's go back in time to as recent as yesterday. While on the phone Abram is asked to get me a cup of coffee , please. He is obedient. I am sitting on my green couch and as he walks up to me with the piping cup of joe JUST as he is about to hand it to me....JUST before we make physical contact he looks away. I grapple for it knowing that this is THAT moment. But in this very short spurt of time he spills it all over the green ottoman that is in between us. Here's the clincher, he doesn't even notice.

Poor phone comrade has to hear the rant again about how the child shouldn't look away with such an important task, how coffee stains, and now said child must run and get a bowl of hot soapy water so I can scrub the ottoman. blah blah blah....which I'm pretty sure is what the boy actually hears.

I am getting so nervous about my cups of coffee, anymore,that IF I place my cup down on the floor I have it strategically placed (so out of the way from anyone) that it's even inconvenient for me to reach it, or I will place it in between my feet and my feet are placed around it as if they are cupping it like hands. I find that no matter how many ways I try to protect the rug, ottoman, carpet, quilt, sheets from this powerful liquid it manages to find it's way to them.

I would love to say that the story ends with me saying to my friend that is on the phone, or to clumsy child, or to myself, "Ohh don't you worry about it, I can take care of it later!" "Let's just enjoy NOT cleaning it and go about doing NOTHING! What a glorious day!" But it doesn't...Im not going to lie...IT DOESN'T!

Nope this is the tale (I typed tail and realized that this may look like a bad homeschool mom moment) that ensures that all my children will have to go into therapy....

Go enjoy a good cup of coffee...but don't say you weren't warned!

Football Fun

2011-12-01T12:09:00.000-08:00

Having six sons is pretty awesome! Oh sure, I don't have tutus, headbands, striped tights, and tap shoes to play with, but that's okay...it REALLY is...

because I have rubber rain boots, swords, footballs and enough brothers for everyone to go around. Even with two brothers missing they can still round up a game of scrimmage in the street.

Yep, having this much testosterone makes for an active crew.

YO! and PEACE OUT!

Love Is Peeling Tangerines

2011-12-01T07:30:00.000-08:00

3 little monkeys hanging from our tree.

Or maybe 2 since Boaz looks all sweet, innocent and non participatory in this photo! (Boy photos can be deceiving! lol)

I was going through my Picasa pics this morning and this one makes my heart sing. BOYS...my boys! I am a mom to many boys...

I feel like that's all I have been at times; a mom. I have been a mom, doing the very same mom thing for over 2 decades. That's crazy! That's really giving a lot of time to your art. I should be REALLY good by now, right? hahaha

So Den was working really late last night, and this left it up to me to do, with the evening, any way I pleased. I made some alfredo fettucini (upon Abram's request) and we all sat in the living room watching Spongebob. It was very uneventful, boring even... but watching them all devour their food made me feel good. Then Boaz was STILL hungry so I grabbed a bag of cold tiny tangerines out of the fridge. You would have thought I brought out a bag of Hershey kisses. I brought a plate and began to peel, and peel...and peel and peel and peel...you get the idea, right?! It's like peeling tiny golf balls for hungry villagers all night long! GEESH! Tangerines are a true form of love if you are the village peeler!

After all the tangerines had been peeled, ate and seeds spit out into tiny hands and handed to me all the live long evening we were done. Everyone had grabbed a blanket and was happily snuggled in. Little boy bodies laying all over the living room and I thought you know what?... This is what Motherhood is all about. It's about feeding your children, making sure all their needs are met, and that they feel safe and loved. At the end of every day that's it.

One day they will go out in to the world and they will make their own way and hopefully they will remember what is really important and continue to fall back to the basics that their momma gave them.

Wrapping Presents or Presents Wrapped

2011-11-29T16:26:00.000-08:00

What is my least favorite part of decorating and preparing for Christmas? Ohhh you didn't ask me that? Well I'm going to enlighten you....

WRAPPING PRESENTS!

Yep, you heard me correctly.

I try to pick out matching wrapping paper that I can live with all month long, sitting in my living room. It doesn't really matter because by the time the boys have asked me for the 14th time if they can pull out their presents, shake them, press them, and put them up towards the light they look like they have had it! Yet, I can't bare to let the important decision of wrapping paper fall by the wayside. lol Am I the only one?

Probably....

Anyway, this year the Black Friday haul wasn't as complicated. I still have certain children that I haven't bothered to shop for yet, at all. So the gift wrap, bows and name tags will stay hidden behind the tree til more presents find their way to me. But that doesn't really happen, does it? Presents don't just FIND their way to me...nope there is agonizing hours of thinking, shopping and debating with many opinionated people to have a single present "find it's way to me".

Well, it's totally worth it all for Christmas day, so don't misread the above statements.

This year I was lazy. I normally go to great pains trying to disguise gifts from the children. Part of the fun has been trying to lead them astray, but this year I decided that my clever (laziness) non-disguise gifts may very well make them all believe that the gifts (that weren't wrapped differently), may indeed not be what they think they are. It's all very complicated in this house, but if you live here....you get it!

Plus, the number one present detecter of all time is Isaiah, and he doesn't live here, so I'm a little off my game!

Well I just had to post a post about present wrapping and how proud I am and all!

So proud! hehehe

Martin Christmas Decorations

2011-11-29T09:48:00.000-08:00

Christmas in this house is painted in red and gold.

We have lots of old Christmas ornaments that decorate our tree. And everyone has a favorite.

This Angel was purchased the first year of our marriage. She is 23 years old. She has seen some amazing Christmas mornings. We chose her because she had dark hair. Apparently, angel makers have a hard time using brown or black paint as a choice for an angel's hair. hahaha So she is special!

This is the only ornament that is homemade. River made it in first grade. It used to smell like cinnamon. So that makes this ornament 15 years old. Why don't I have more homemade ornaments? Well I homeschool most of the time and therefore the boys don't bring home homemade Christmas gifts from school, and I'm not into making homemade ones with them either. So this is a special story because of that reason.

Here are the boys' stockings. Having JilleeAnna as a part of the family makes us stop and think about how to handle stockings and all sorts of traditions. Do we buy one for her, or do we give River his, or do we just wait and buy little stockings with grandbabies names on them. It's all so confusing as we make our way into another generation. We are still navigating our ever expanding traditions, with lots of family discussions. We will find the right fit as we go....

(Okay upon further family review we ordered Mrs. JilleeAnna's stocking today. She got to choose it even. It's being monogrammed and will be here soon. Yay!! )

This little brass angel is one of my favorites. She is very old too. Den has always had a soft spot for angels and I am in love with snowmen, but we find beauty in both.

We bought this little gold heart with red beads a couple decades ago. It's what Christmas represents...love...

We have these bells hanging on the front door and every time someone uses the door it sounds like Santa and his reindeer have arrived. Very Christmasy!

These are complety handmade and handpainted by Den's grandmother. Very special, indeed. Now we have never taught our boys about Santa. Well they understand the story, but we have never ran with it. However, Dennis's grandmother sends us Santa figurines and containers and therefore because we know they are made and purchased with such love we have them placed all over the house. We embrace Santa has a fun story, but we remember what the real reason is for this season. CHRIST.

Every little snowman or Santa is a box or set of boxes that has been sent by Den's grandparents, each year, for Christmas. They arrive at our doorstep filled with all sorts of goodies. The boys can't wait to see what little guy will come to join our Christmas family and, of course, devour the cookies and candy inside!

Please don't be bashful about reminding people that we have such a beautiful and happy holiday for one reason, and one reason alone, because Christ was born. So please have the courage and the joy to say, "Merry Christmas!"

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T07:06:00.000-08:00

It's Thanksgiving!

It's 7:07am, but I've been up since about 6am. Not doing anything terribly important, because Den hopped up and put the turkey on earlier. I did put my cornbread/sourdough square pieces back in the confection oven to dry out some more. I have a great recipe I am going to try, but I'm always nervous trying out a new recipe on such an important meal.

I made my mom's awesome dinner rolls that I remember when I was girl, but my yeast must be bad because those rolls didn't rise to the occasion. The disappointment put me in a sour mood for sure, but thankfully we are so spoiled in this society that I can always run to the grocery store to find a stand in.

I have Christmas music drifting in the house this morning. This is one of our busiest weeks; Thanksgiving, Black Friday Chaos, Wrapping presents, Setting the Christmas tree up along with all the other decorations.

This year we will be celebrating Roman's birthday too. We have had a bug in the house and we have wanted to wait until all the brothers can participate so Roman has waited very sweetly and patiently for it. He amazes me sometimes.

Today we will be headed to Rusty and Mary's house along with our entire family. Yes, River and JilleeAnna will be with us for the holidays this year, and yes Isaiah, Levi, Abram, Roman and Boaz will be in attendance. It should be a really nice day with everyone, and I hope that your Thanksgiving is meaningful. Even though there is a lot of stress at times making sure that this day is everything it is cracked up to be try not to lose the point. I guess the point is supposed to be the same as every other day of our lives, though, Give thanks to God for all that we have. Count your blessings and today shout it from the rooftop, or maybe across the dinner table over the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and not-so-great dinner rolls (oh that's just me)....

You get the idea!

Happy Thankgiving to you all!

Make Room. It's Coming In.

2011-11-22T13:51:00.000-08:00

The gigantic shelf was moved from the back of the house and brought in beside the dining room table. I can see it clearly from the living room now. I really like the change.

Here it is again from the kitchen view. Isn't it amazing how the green wall looks different on the wall then in between the cubicles?

This is the vacant space waiting for the piano. You can see the stuff that came down from the wall. I will need to wait to rehang some things.

So I've been in the mood for change around here. It's really no surprise, I like change, at least around my house. Change helps me stay organized and clean. I find that if things stay the same at my house for six months, pretty soon, it turns into a catch-all for everyone.

You should hear the moans and groans I get when I'm ready to move a piece of furniture though. Didn't I give birth to six strapping sons? Yes...yes I did, so quit sniveling men....

Well I have been hankering for a new-to-me piano. I've wanted one for a very long time, but especially since I have sons that are old enough to learn to play. I missed that opportunity with my first two boys because our houses didn't have the room for one. But this house was designed for one. It's been calling for the sound of the ivory keys every since the day I moved in, or maybe it whispered this to me when I first peered through the living room window, and it was all abandoned and calling for life, again. Yep, that's when it did!

Anyway, I've been talking to Den about it and I even told him the very spot that one would live, but because I had my huge IKEA shelving there it seemed like all the men, in this house, shook their heads in disbelief. Ohhhh but don't they know the little woman in this house? If moving, reconfiguring and reorganizing is what it will take to get the motivation kindled than watch out!

So today I did it. Well to give proper credit; Levi, Abram and myself did it! Ohhh the littles did their part by staying out of the way (don't underestimate that gift).

Levi said that it would be too crowded by the table, but I didn't let him dissuade me. Nope, it was moving and it would look great. This piece of furniture/shelving has been an IKEA purchase 3 years ago and boy has it been a blessing! Honestly, I could fill the whole thing with just books (I homeschool, remember), but I really need the cubbies for so many things, and I still want it to look appealing to the eye.

Some people think that IKEA stuff is junk, and I can say that it's definitely NOT heirloom material, but for a family that is packed to the rafters with family, friends and homeschooling it's the perfect fit! It's made it through 3 moves, even. I would say that it was a noteworthy investment.

So let's see how long it takes to get that piano moved in....

It's coming house...don't worry......

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah

2011-11-21T07:53:00.000-08:00

Dennis

Kids

House

Food

Laundry

Schoolwork

Brethren

These are the things that my life is made of. I almost hear music in the background as I type this. The kind of music like "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah" or something. It's full of ruckus at times, and yet full of love. I feel blessed. I wanted to type lucky, but I flat out don't believe in luck, so that would have been clearly untrue.

Even though I know that I am blessed with all these little gems, at times, I feel overwhelmed. The funny thing is it's a mindset!

I was laying in bed this morning, after sleeping a delicious sleep ( I don't always sleep that wonderfully), and I was thankful as soon as I was awakened. I counted my sleeping blessing.

Then I could see out my bedroom window (because the curtains aren't on the window just yet, since we are drywalling) and I saw this beautiful yellow leaved tree and the rain dripping down the pane of my window. This was beautiful.

I thought about how I can hop out of bed, at my own will and make myself a steaming hot pot of coffee, and enjoy a cup with some pretty tasty creamer. This is the good life people!

I immediately start planning the meal (click on "meal" and I will show you the main dish I'm fixing.) I am going to cook for the family, tonight, that just had a healthy baby boy, and I even felt a little excited about getting that started.

The laundry....well let's just say it's my achilles heel since our little bedroom remodel, but I just decided not to dwell too long on this little chore. (Probably should though, I need to quit procrastinating and knock it out!)

Anyway, as I laid there I thanked God. I prayed about the other stuff that we all are burdened with, and thought how blessed I am. Life is a mindset! WE CAN CONTROL IT! We can be happy, learn to be content, count our blessings, and we should!

My life is not full of lollipops, helium balloons, and rainbows everyday. Absolutely not! Whose is? I have sorrow and I let my mind wander there for a while, trust me, but it doesn't do me ANY good. If I could fix those sorrows it would be one thing, but honestly the whole point is to learn how to leave them with God. He is perfect. He knows just what to do. I need to be willing to go when He tells me to go and speak when He tells me to speak, but until then...I will wait and I will be happy!

Counting my blessings, and you know what this is a full time job! It feels pretty good too. I guess God knew what He was doing when He put that in His word!

Have a great...no have a "blessed" day!

Darth Vader

2011-11-20T09:10:00.001-08:00

Roman's 6th Birthday!!

2011-11-20T08:29:00.000-08:00

Having a 6 year old in the house is the best! The exuberance and excitement is highly contagious! He keeps us all laughing and smiling all the time!!

Roman has a quiet maturity about him that speaks for itself. He is in a small body, but he is an old man waiting to break out of the cocoon. He is the little boy that takes whatever you say, LITERALLY! Since we know this strong trait about him we have some pretty good chuckles when he misunderstands a common phrase.

He is in Kindergarten this year. I am homeschooling him. So when someone asks him if he is in school, which is really them asking him if he is old enough to be in a grade, he says, "Well I'm homeschooled." He says it with a tone that makes it sounds like he knows he should say it, but that he doesn't really think it counts in real life. Every time I smile!

He makes sandwiches, cereal, and cold drinks for Boaz and him daily. Not because he has to, but because he wants to. He is all ready to tackle a challenge. If he is asked to go clean something or put something away he runs to accomplish it. He doesn't complain, he actually loves the responsibility and that we can count on him.

He was my first nurser. I never had the courage to try to breast feed my first 4 boys. He wasn't a great nurser (or maybe I wasn't), but we got through that turmultuous time together, forever forming a bond. Plus, he cleared the way for Boaz.

Even though Roman is son #5, he truly acts like a son #1 with the way he handles the big brother role with Bo. I watch his expressions, body language and the things that he says with intrigue. Who will he be in my world, in all of our worlds?. I don't know the answer, exactly, but I know that he has bettered ours in a way that a single post could never explain!

Happy Birthday Roman Ward!

Photo Card

2011-11-16T18:10:00.001-08:00

Bold Bright Wishes Christmas

Create personalized Christmas cards at Shutterfly.com.

View the entire collection of cards.

Parenting Rhetoric

2011-11-14T13:56:00.000-08:00

Aren't kids great?

But aren't parents pretty great too? I can say that since I can go on either side of this coin. I'm a kid and a parent, depending on who you ask.

I have found myself saying, without thought, so many things that are just silly that my parents used to say. The part that is even more funny is when your kids look at you blankly or make fun of those little sayings.

Today as I was getting netflix movies ready to head out to the mailbox (the only thing we ever really mail), Abram was standing by to be my mail runner. He looked me up and down, saw my jacket, and asked me if I was planning on getting out for the day. I replied that I was. He then asked me where I was going. I said I was going to the grocery store.

Now let me clarify why I made the following statement just so you understand my reason. The boys get excited when they think I'm going to buy more food; aka snacks! They would love it if I let them tag along, but I always end up spending longer and buying more when a male species bums along, and it doesn't even matter what age bracket I'm referring to. I would say that Den, Isaiah and Abram are probably the worst culprits. Anyway I digress.

So as I instantly saw his eyes light up like a Christmas tree I felt immediate pressure to make all his grocery dreams come true, so I clarified very quickly how that wasn't going to happen with this statement; the very statement that my parents said to me. I said in a firm voice, "I'm not going to go crazy, Abram!" To which I got a laugh and a reenactment of what a crazy person looks like. I chuckled too at that point! I hadn't even thought about what I said, but his little crazy jig snapped me back to my parenting rhetoric! I remember my parents saying that VERY thing to me, lots of times!

Then as Abram darted out the front door with the little red envelopes of Netflix movies I turned towards my computer to quickly jot down another funny moment of being a parent or being a kid, either way, it's gooood stuff!

Now I'm off to get some things done, or "I'm going to straighten up and fly right for a while!" hehehe

IPhone Typsos...oh wait typos!

2011-11-10T08:16:00.000-08:00

Iphone typos are the worst!

I love to leisurely lay in bed and play some "Words with Friends" with some amazing players, check out Facebook and, of course, leave comments from my bed in the wee hours of the morning. It all sounds so relaxing and thought provoking, right? WRONG!

This morning I was adding my two cents in on a little subject with one of my friends when I realized that the word I chose to use had one vowel changed in it, and now it looked like a profanity.

I immediately understood that my 3G iphone didn't have the capacity to delete a comment; one huge downfall of the older iphones. A lesson I've had to learn on more than 10-100 occasions. Too many times I've been out and about, added my little think-so on someone's status and then realized that I have misspelled a word, or even not added a word or two entirely. However, I just have to continue walking through Target with that little voice murmuring in my ear that I can't fix that until I get home!

On this occasion, thankfully, I WAS home, because it wasn't just a misspelling or loss of a word or two but a word that looked pretty awful and strangely fit with the context of the sentence. Complete Mortification!!

So I'm giggling, that horrifying giggle, as I can't get to my home computer fast enough to get it to start up. You know, it was so early in the morning that the computer wasn't on and purring yet. The whole time I was wondering if the other 3 contributors to the status have noticed. Of COURSE they have!! ACK!

So I sign into my FB account and find that wall and as fast as "Lightning McQueen" (you can tell I'm a mom to little boys to use that cartoon as my reference), and delete it. I stumble all over myself to explain it away in hopes that if someone did see it that they will understand, or hoping to see everyone say, "What are you talking about?"

Anyway....Im thankful I was home. I'm thankful that my friends know me well. And I think I need a phone upgrade, honey! lol

Jelly and Cheese Sandwich Roman Style

2011-11-09T14:31:00.000-08:00

I had to laugh the first time that Roman requested this sandwich. When he was 3 he asked for cheese and jelly on some bread. I was so sure that he just didn't know how to communicate properly that I dragged everything else out of the fridge that I thought he may want instead, however he was certain.

I, personally, think the concoction is gross, but he will vehemently disagree with me. As you can see in this video that his 3 year old brother doesn't have the same acquired taste as his older brother either.

Roman is 5 (almost 6 in 11 short days) and since he has shown that he can make a sandwich without making a huge mess he gets to whip himself up one regularly.

I love how Boaz is licking his lips repeatedly as he is watching the jelly being spread around on his bread. They seriously make me giggle.

I love my little men!

I'm Still Here

2011-11-09T11:08:00.000-08:00

Here I am...

You thought I wasn't coming back, huh?

I know I know...I deserve that, after all I've left the blogging world a time or two for long periods of time. Why shouldn't this time be any different, right?

Well I'm still here.

In fact, there has been a day or two that I thought about blogging more than once and thought I should probably pace myself.

On the otherhand, I have also had days like yesterday where I spent most of the day with Den enjoying my hubby. Eating at Panera, doing a little shopping at my favorite store "Home Goods", and checking out his job site downtown Portland.

Those days aren't meant for blogging they are meant for living. Being still with my man and blogging about it later.

So here I sit, this Wednesday, making sure to drop you all a line and a little picture of me taking a picture of me in my mirror. It's all so deep.....or just a bunch of cliche's you decide....:)

It's Really NO Big Deal

2011-11-07T13:56:00.000-08:00

It's not a big deal, it's really not, but the Lord must have knew I needed a jump start this morning because today has been full of this sort of mishaps.

Today was full of good intentions, and yet I feel like it's been just a trial filled day. Phone calls coming in that made my heart heavy and me sitting on the couch thinking, praying and dwelling too long on things I absolutely can't change. In fact, they aren't mine to change at all.

I think letting go and truly trusting that God will fix things is still one of the hardest lessons for me to learn. Especially, when it comes to my children. I want to fix things! I want to put bandaids on things. I want to pour out my infinite wisdom upon them and watch them eat it up like it was a giant hot plate of spaghetti, but more times than not it doesn't happen that way. Often times I see the plate pushed away in stubborn rebellion.

I try to console myself with who I was once upon a time. That I made it. I grew. I had to learn lessons outside of my parents. They were good for me. I wonder if my parents felt as much frustration at times as I have felt. Oh wait...there was that one time...and that other time...okay yes they did! This actually gives me hope and a little peace.

Anyway...as I was making lunch today for the 4 boys I grabbed the box of angel hair pasta out of the pantry and the noodles sprayed all over the floor. I had to actually pause and take a breath and remind myself that this is NO big deal. Keep on going...it's life....the endless chant, today, that keeps running through my head.

All By Myself!

2011-11-07T06:27:00.000-08:00

So with it being the end of daylight savings time I find myself WIDE AWAKE at 5:30am. My crickets are still chirping on my iphone's white noise and I ponder reaching down, turning it off, to catch up on Facebook, but any sudden change in noise may wake up the herd of boys, so I hesitate.

However, I think my hesitation lasts a whole nano second of me just sitting in the dark before I reach down and drag the cord my way so that the phone is in my hand. I click the off button and take a deep breath. I don't know what I thought would happen, but I'm relieved that the house just went deathly silent.

After a little snooping on Facebook and complaining that my inner clock is off I decide to do it; to get off my creaky bed (we are staying in the guest room upstairs while we renovate our bedroom downstairs), and decide I need to blog and make some coffee. As I carefully lower my feet to the ground I grimace at the 4 ft. high bed's racket. The house is pretty dark, but it will have to stay that way if I'm to escape the upstairs child-free! I see the stairs, but I know the stairs are NOT my friend. They make the most noise when you first think you are home free. The top 2 have to be avoided, which is difficult. So I gingerly place my foot on the second step off to the side, and to my joy very little sound is made. I'm starting to think that I'm going to get away with it, but I tell myself not to do the mommy dance just yet. That's always the first mommy to go; the one who thinks she is home-free and begins to celebrate too soon.

After I give myself the pep talk to push on and to remind myself that I'm not out of the woods yet I find myself at the bottom of the stairs without a peep from upstairs. The light of the living room is on and I get to see the layout of the downstairs. I see how messy it was after being gone most of the day and requiring nothing of anyone before church. It doesn't matter though...focus...I'm downstairs by 6am ALL... BY..... MYSELF!

I decide to hit the bathroom downstairs and I don't even have to shut the door, after all who will hear or see me? Little celebration smiles run across my face. I look around the bathroom only to see how messy it is TOO. I give myself a little "don't go there" talk, "Trina, don't go to housewife mode. Just enjoy the peace and quiet! Come on you can do it!"

I hop on my little stool that sets me at the computer and the white flicker of the monitor light pops up. It's almost blinding to my watery eyes. I type in my blog address and YES....I have enough peace and quiet to blog, to post....WOoooHooooOoo! Another great start to a Monday morning! High fives all around...oh wait it's just me! HIGH FIVE TRINA!

I hope your day is JUST as exciting and FANTASTIC LADIES!!

Two Joined Together For The Same Purpose

2011-11-05T12:49:00.000-07:00

These two japanese maple trees are in our front yard. They mark the beginning of our sidewalk that leads to our front door. I am so fond of them. I went out this rainy Oregon November morning to photograph their beautiful changes.

This house was built in 1915. I've been told that one of Oregon's first judges lived here. I've also been told that the landscaping is from that era, or at least a good portion of it. This makes my heart sing. To know that someone's work, planning, and dreaming is still here today. It's inspiring. They have left a legacy in a small way and I get to benefit from that. One of the main reasons I wanted to live in an old house all my life.

These two trees are mesmerizing to me. They remind me of Den and I; in a marriage. One is larger and stronger. It is the dark purple/red one. It was planted first or maybe it just took root better. The little orange one looks just like the purple/red one for most of the year. I had no idea that it would show itself in a different light this fall. Now I see the two joining together in a more meaningful and beautiful way. They look like one but they are two, this is the first time that from the outside, not looking at it's roots that you can tell that they are two joined together to form one.

Thank you Lord for all of your beauty!

Boaz...Bo...Bobo

2011-11-05T08:15:00.000-07:00

Boaz is 3. He has big blue eyes and blond soft hair that we cut the same way every month (the basic little boy haircut). I say this because he is easy. All he needs is a nap (which means wherever he falls asleep while playing), some good food in his small belly, tons of love, and he is set everyday.

When Bo was born he was severely tongue tied at the very tip of his tiny tongue. Although it is a very simple snippet procedure I worried about whether the movement of his tongue would be good. I prayed and prayed for his speech, talking to the Lord regularly about this little worry that a mama naturally has. He was a champion nurser and this brought me some peace, but the day he said "dada", and I knew his little tongue touched the roof of his mouth to form a word I danced with joy. Since then he has spoke more clearly than any of my other boys. Of course, I never said a daily prayer for their speech as I did Boaz. God is good...no he is phenomenal!

Although Boaz has been potty trained for a year now, he still asks Roman to go with him to the bathroom from time to time since he is a little spooked of the bathroom in the evening. Anytime I overhear the request I make sure Roman goes. Roman is a little reluctant at times, but overall he doesn't mind. At times I know that it's inconvenient, but it's the same thing that Roman requested and now it's his turn to repay that little gift back. I thank God all the time for the brotherhood that Roman and Boaz have. Being a little over 2 years apart is a great blessing in my life, but most importantly in theirs. I wasn't sure that I was truly ready to get pregnant when Roman was only 19 months old, but God knew that it was best and now I see the fruits of that every single day.

Bo has a little temper. If someone accidentally hurts him while wrestling with him, or during some other superhero game that takes place regularly, he has to be reminded what an accidental elbowing is and the difference when a brother does it intentionally. If he retaliates physically all the brothers are patient for a bit, but everyone corrects him quickly.

Because Bo is number 6 he doesn't know any different in the line of command. Having someone tell him what to do is very much his norm. He cries when he doesn't get his way, but that doesn't happen that often because he, and the other boys, are very tenderhearted and can't handle anyone being sad for long. Some sort of compromise quickly rises to the rescue.

My little boys eat together, play together, bathe, sleep....you get the idea. Abram being homeschooled has made a strong threesome too, and I am thankful. Watching my older three boys and the bond that they have gives me joy and peace while watching and raising my younger three.

Although they are distinctly different I can see how the Lord knew which order to bring each son into this family, and exactly how they will need to round each other out.

The Truth

2011-11-03T11:42:00.000-07:00

These words have never rang more true in my life then this last year. Well except rather than forget the ones that don't treat you right I would say don't dwell on the ones that don't. Even pray for them. I'm growing!

Fish Sticks

2011-11-03T10:59:00.000-07:00

The house is full of 3 boys this morning. Levi is off working, which is his norm anymore. We have music playing in the background as all the chores are being caught up. Roman drifted outside in the backyard to explore while waiting for the fish sticks to get done cooking for lunch.

I hear the hum of the vacuum upstairs as Abram is finishing up his bedroom, because today we are restoring the room from the chaos of Halloween and all the candy trading that has been going on behind the scenes.

Boaz is the only one still underfoot waiting for the fish sticks. He was the one who came downstairs asking me to fix tacos. I knew that he had finally had his fill of Halloween candy when he is asking for a dinner meal at lunch. He is tired of all the sugar that has been running through his veins. I am glad to see him hunger for something more substantial too.

As I pull the fish sticks out of the oven to turn them for the final time he gets excited thinking that they are done. He wants to know if I'm going to "blow them up". I laugh and remind myself how cute his misuse of the english language is, and how it won't linger. He really wants me to blow on them because they are too hot. I sadly inform him that he must wait a tad longer and then I will blow on them for him. I make sure to find a cooked one off the edge and gingerly hand it to him. He happily tenderly reaches for it.

I love being a mom! I love all that entails! At times my nerves are frayed but nothing...absolutely nothing competes with all the amenities that motherhood brings!

Blog ReVamp

2011-11-02T16:31:00.000-07:00

I was ready for a new updated blog. I loved the blog design that I had for the last few years, but I wanted to see a change in my blog as I feel like I have really grown and changed in the last year or two, too.

We have six sons. River, our oldest who is 21 is now married. His little wife JilleeAnna is expecting their first child in March. This will be Den and I's first grandbaby, and we are so excited!! March is already a special birthday month in our family and to add another generation to it brings even more meaning.

My oldest is 21 and my youngest is 3. I am 40, and Den and I have been married 23 years. What happens to the hands of time? It's crazy how fast our lives go. I look back at the photos of me and my kids when I first started blogging and it almost makes me sad, but so thankful that I had the foresight to log so many moments of our lives. I feel like I can go back in time whenever I want to.

We bought a house in Oregon this last spring and it has sort of helped me set roots down physically and mentally. I get up almost every single day and thank God for this old house that he has given us. Life is good and I want God to know how thankful I am for every breath of it!

I am behind on posting pictures, which is why, below, you see so many photographs that have been recently taken of our family. Another little hobby of mine is picture taking! I enjoy capturing moments in time and I know that I always appreciate looking back on days gone by and reliving those moments with my family. Every thing that can be captured on paper (written or photographed) can be handed down to the next generation. That is exciting to me.

I am silly, saracastic, sincere, and sober; all over the map when it comes to who I am and who I am becoming....

2011 Family Pics

2011-10-20T18:09:00.001-07:00

Hourglass by Mindy Gledhill

2011-01-17T09:48:00.000-08:00

A perfect song to my littles from their mama....

I'm sitting here just playing this song over and over again with tears. Life is so short and every grain of it is important.

Last Minute Covered Wagon

2011-01-05T10:05:00.000-08:00

Setting: 3:30pm, after school. Abram climbs through window.

Mom: How was school Abram?
Abram: It was great! (insert details of his day)
Mom: Do you have some homework?
Abram: Yes, I have my weekly packet, no big deal.
Mom: So nothing needs to get done right now, though, right?
Abram: Right

Fast forward to 7:30pm

Abram: Moooooom?!
Mom: Yeah?
Abram: I have to make a covered wagon for school tomorrow and it has to be filled with all the stuff a family would have to pack for a 5 month journey to Oregon from Missouri.
Mom: What? It's due tomorrow? Are you serious, Abram?
Abram: Yep
Mom: Why are you JUST now telling me this?!
Abram: Yeah I didn't realize it until I saw something in my backpack.
Mom: Exasperated sounds that cannot be put into words!!!

Super Powers

2011-01-04T08:10:00.000-08:00

I have learned to fall in love with praying. I know that it may sound weird, but I would say if there is any gift that has changed my life for the year 2010 it is that. I have learned that to pray is one of the most amazing gifts that God has allowed us to access anytime of any day.

Yesterday was a tough day for me. It started off wrong and it went from there. I had some running around to do on this house that we are trying to buy, and it took everything I had to make the right decisions with the days responsibilties. Im glad I did, of course, but my heart was troubled and my demeanor was glum.

I swung by Burgerville and bought my self a salad, I really wanted something tastier but I knew that I had to make a good choice somewhere along the way. I decided to run by the vacant house that we are in the midst of purchasing and I sat in the driveway to eat my greens. While sitting there in silence I bowed my head to pray. I knew that I needed to do it earlier, but I didn't make the time with my bad attitude and list of errands to run 'til then. I talked to God about it all. Yes, I even choked up a little, and from that moment on I could see the Lord working. The things I took to Him he began to fix. The day began to turn around.

I still had a heavy heart, I'm not going to lie and say that everything changed for the good, but I'm also going to give God credit and say He did answer my prayer very quickly. The only thing is that the sorrow I had earlier that day opened up an emotional can of worms that I couldn't put the lid back on.

Den had to work late last night and I bemoaned that. So even though God was good and merciful I still had me to work on, but I realized how quickly the Lord showed me His power. Prayer is a powerful thing. Roman said to me yesterday that he wished he had super powers, and I thought we do, we have prayer. I was going to tell my five year old that but if you know my Roman then you know that conversation would have lasted a Coon's age. hehehe But it did make me stop and think about it. and it's rolled over to today.

So this morning Den was getting ready for work. I needed to take him to his job this frigid morning and he was very worried about the big punch list he has today. I knew we needed to pray about it, but it also hit me that Den hadn't prayed for me yesterday before he left. ( You see Den is faithful to pray for me before he heads to work almost every morning). I told Den that his prayers have been so meaningful that the one day he forgot I had a lousy day. We both agreed to pray first thing, together, this morning. We used our super powers and prayed today!

2010 Paths Were Challenging

2010-12-29T14:20:00.000-08:00

We had a lovely Christmas this year. Even though Abram threw up a few times on Christmas Eve and had a smashing headache to go along with it we figured we would travel up to Great Wolf Lodge in Washington and just bed him down for the rest of the day and maybe our whole stay if necessary, however God was kind and had great mercy on Abram and he was well enough to enjoy everything from the get-go. I was thankful then, and I'm thankful when I think of it now. We had a really nice time with all the boys. (River and JilleeAnna spent it with her family this year.)

It's been a big year. I have found myself driving down the road a lot, lately, thanking God out loud for all of his mercies and goodness. I haven't had the best of health in the last year and yet God stepped in this late summer/early fall and relieved a lot of the symptoms, and I'm deeply moved and grateful. I could have dedicated a whole year's worth of blogs to this journey, but it was a more private walk, one that brought me to my knees more times than I have ever been before. So with the thought of the good things I am lighter....happier....a great burden has been lifted for now.

Funny how life carries you down such different paths then you ever think it will. Often this year I have been on dark twisted paths far away from anyone, unsure where the trail was going to lead me, with my heart pounding in my chest. Those paths will be forever memorable to me. I had to trust in God more than ever, trust that no matter where the trail ended up it was best for me. The times I thought I couldn't go any further based on fear of the unknown I would fall down and just want to sit on the path too afraid to move, always then God would push back the dark thorny branches and extend His hand and I would quickly, no desperately, grab hold and let His strength pull me to my feet. I don't want to forget what I learned. I don't want to lose what I feel now. The peace that was given to me could only come from God. He is good. He is God!

Home Sweet Home Soon

2010-12-22T11:15:00.000-08:00

I feel something stirring inside of me lately, and I like it. I told Den that I was starting to feel the urge to write on my blog again. We are in the process of trying to buy a house, which is very exciting to me. I guess I haven't felt rooted for so long now that I have been just sort of floating in the universe, but with buying a house I feel myself coming back down to earth and getting ready to plant myself somewhere.

Another inhibitor to blogging has been facebook. I have really enjoyed Facebook and keeping up with everyone there. Although I don't share that much on the site I feel very involved and haven't felt the urge to go further with sharing....until now.

After buying a house I'm gonna want to keep track of the whole renovating process and making a house a "home". To have a house that is MINE again makes me, as a homemaker, wife and mother, feel like nesting. I'm thrilled to be so close to this goal.

Toilet Training

2010-08-09T12:04:00.000-07:00

While blowdrying my hair Boaz comes to me with his rubber shark that is dripping wet. He is as pleased as punch with himself and at first I smile back at him, relieved to see that he is content. You see he has been whiney today and murmuring and complaining ever since he woke up. So at first, my reaction was relief. BUT THEN it registers with this old mama brain the underlying question of, "Why is the shark wet?" I quickly think to myself is there water in the tub? Nooo. Hmmm can he reach the sink faucet and is he able to turn on the water? Nope. Then my smile drifts away slowly as I realize that the only water available to a two year old statured human is the toilet.

I turn off the blowdryer and head for the bathroom and sure enough the toilet seat is covered in water droplets. That's the scene of the crime for sure! Luckily, Roman flushed the toilet before abandoning the bathroom, otherwise it would be far more disgusting. So now toilet training, and not with the goal of big boy underwear.

Battle Of The Wills

2010-08-09T00:48:00.000-07:00

It's so very late, but I can't sleep. I want to sleep, but too many things are interfering. As I lay in the dark filled room, enjoying the cool breeze from an open window I can hear Boaz's breathing between Den and I, and I feel blessed. As much as I have thoughts that creep continuously in my mind trying to discourage me I have the other still small voice reminding me to count my blessings, and I do.

Today started out with sorrow. I had a small revelation that made me hang my head with quiet sorrow. I wanted it to go away, but like many things we can't control it wouldn't flee. I got down and prayed in the bathroom before church, but I found that my prayer was full of my own will and not necessarily my Lord's will. I knew it about myself even as I was kneeling on the linoleum of my bathroom. I kept praying even though I could see that my heart wasn't exactly pure before the Lord, for a prayer is still a good thing; begging God for mercy.

Therein lies my problem. My will. My will seems right. I wouldn't want something bad for myself, now would I? So I must know what is best for me and those that I love, right? Wrong....wrong wrong wrong. Even though I know it's the wrong heart to have and I understand the spiritual logic in it I continuously have this war.

Praying for peace of mind. Praying for guidance. Praying for the things that I know I stand in need of are all good things, but understanding that only God knows the outcomes. Only God truly has the wisdom to know what is best for me. I believe this, I truly do, but to relinquish my will is so challenging. I find that there are many days I battle relinquishing my will to Den too. My will is so very strong and self serving, selfish, foolish. *sigh*

I am bending, and not just for the day. I am trying to stay flexible like spiritual yoga. Trying to exercise myself in God's will so that I am strong in it rather than inflexible in my own will. Geesh this is hard. I am praying that I will fall in love with God's will for me. That my heart will rejoice in God's will for me, but right now I can say that I am at peace with it. Only through fasting and prayer have I come this far. It's not very far in the spirit, but it's a long ways for my flesh.

Help me God, your will be done in all things, and help me to move aside so that we can achieve it.

Just Gonna Keep Going

2010-08-04T07:31:00.000-07:00

I'm deeply thankful for the peace that I have. Things creep into my mind daily, but with the Lord I am able to put them back in their seat where they belong. I could spend so much time worrying about things that I can't control that I give up a really great day and don't see the beautiful things in my life. I was doing that for awhile, but through fasting and prayer the Lord gave me this sweet peace of mind about most things.

I was thinking about how much keeps changing. The boys were excited that I was writing and posting pictures on my blog again. I know that it has meant a lot to Den, and I guess even the boys, that I keep this family journal going, but I wasn't sure if I should keep putting my life out there. Although the other day I had put some photos up and my boys began to flip through the old archives on their own and reminiscing about the sweet memories. Levi would read an old post than volunteer to read it aloud for the rest of us. It meant the world to me. I mean it literally meant the world to me. Having these memories and moments in our lives preserved has been the best investment of my time.

Abram stood by the chair as a story was being read aloud about him when he was four and he was mesmerized. The older boys recalled the tale vividly and after reading it aloud began to fill in even more details from their own recollection. It was sweet and it was a powerful reminder to me to keep going with this old blog.

I was going through past pictures with the boys too and we all couldn't believe how much 4 years has changed us all. Levi wasn't a little boy anymore as in the photographs and life has a way of marching on quickly.

I also realized how much our little assembly has grown in 3 years. We came here to only 2 brothers and now we have: Den and I (5 sons at home), Rusty and Mary (4 kids), Mike and Tammy (2 girls), Sean and Marisela (6 kids), Naomi, Matt and Tisha (5 kids), Doyle, Elvin, and Brian, Josh and Bridgette (1 baby), River and JilleeAnna, and Billy and Barbara (6 kids).

Ohhhh how the Lord has had a plan for this assembly! Ohhhh how He has had a plan for our lives. It's scary sometimes to leap, but it feels so good when you get to the other side.

Water Park Fun

2010-08-03T20:47:00.000-07:00

Roman (4) in his water shirt so he doesn't get burned in the crazy hot sun. He had a ball!

Boaz (2) making sure that all the snacks and liquids are in order. Don't worry honey, they aren't going anywhere.

Abram (9), Roman, and Boaz all running amok in the water....

It was a gorgeous summer day! Spontaneously, I decided to take the three younger boys to the water park. The first water park we went to was closed AGAIN. I don't know what it is about that water park, but it's closed down for repairs regularly without notice. Thankfully, we headed to our old standby in Bethany.

We kept it simple by just bringing a few towels, some empty sippy cups for gathering and throwing water, and of course some triangle cut peanut butter and jelly sandwiches meant for little hands.

At first, the littles were cold and it made me question why we had gone, but very quickly the weather heated up and the contentment level was tippy top!

http://homeschoolingmomof5boys.blogspot.com/2007/05/summer-fun.html

This is a picture of us at the same waterpark 3 years ago, after we JUST moved here. Look at how much the boys have grown. It makes me sort of sad, but I can't believe how much the Lord continues to bless our little family.

Seattle Summer

2010-08-02T11:22:00.000-07:00

We had a really nice time in Seattle this weekend. It started off slow since I-5 Northbound was closed down for like 4 hours, and we were in it, but regardless I was thrilled to be with Den no matter what we were doing, even killing time in a massive traffic jam.

One of the best eateries we went to was a crepe' shop. Oh my the crepe's were DIVINE!!

We also shared a little mocha in a cute little espresso cup. Sometimes it's just the little things that make something taste even better, and this cup did that for me.

Den had a savory crepe', I had a strawberry vanilla creme one and oh me oh my!!

At one of the little italian grocery stores in Pike Street was the gigantic container of my boys' favorite condiments, "Nutella"! This large heap of love was over $80!

One of the things that I love about the Pike Street Market is the great deals on flowers. I would love to have fresh flowers everyday on my table and this place would make it affordable!

This is just a classic photo of the sign, and down below is the best find all day....DEN! lol

We waltzed into a Chinese tea shop. We sat down and they served us all sorts of unique herbal teas. It was really educational and the art of serving and pouring was beautiful. We bought our own little tea pot and cups....and some healthy herbal teas.

Of course, it wouldn't be a trip to Seattle without hitting a Starbucks and this one had a little entertainment outside. What a fun day!

Yes, this hot pink shirt says Starbucks on it. We were standing in line at a Russian bakery waiting for a little cabbage and sauerkraut....mmmmmmmmm.

A couple walking by offered to take a picture of the two of us. A golden rare moment!

We decided to ride the ferry to Bainbridge Island. It seemed like a great way to finish our trip.

The second reason for the ferry was all the walking that we had done that day, and we just needed a good excuse to get off our feet.

Life Is Gooood!

2010-07-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

Do you ever just wake up happy? No rhyme or reason for it, ya just do? Well today was/is that sort of day for me. I had a night of tossing and turning and not feeling great, and so Den came over to pray for me before he left for work and the Lord had tender mercy. Not only do I feel decent today, but I feel happy and content.

You know it's the real deal when you head upstairs to see that the kitchen looks like a tornado ran through it, and that two out of the three kids who have chores aren't going to be here today to help clean up their mess. Not even that spoiled my morning joy.

Morning contentedness is when you wake up to wishing you had a cup of hot steaming coffee, but when debating with yourself about walking back into the crime zone of a kitchen to make a pot your neighbor volunteers a freshly brewed cup of joe in a perfect sized to-go cup. Now that deserves a "Life is Good" poster, right there!

I just feel blessed right now. God has had a lot of mercy on me in the last few weeks, and I have been counting my blessings, literally. I know what it feels like to wake up to a gray world and have a heaviness on your heart and not even be able to make it go away. Only God can give mornings like this morning, and He did. Thank you!

Summer Time 2010

2010-07-17T11:06:00.000-07:00

Levi doing a little cannon ball in the pool.

Roman getting a ride on Bro. Mike's back. He was swimming without a life vest for the first time in the deep end. He even jumped in to the deep end off the edge. He is a little daredevil and must be watched closely, though.

Abram doing one of his little stunts off the side of the pool.

Boaz sulking; no one knew why....lol

Levi just enjoying poolside. Great memories!

Boaz being Bo...which is more than enough....:)

River and Isaiah heading for the hot tub.

Boaz had learned that a juice box filled with water can shoot pool water at great distances if enough pressure was applied.

Isaiah getting ready to scuba dive in the hot tub!

Just Another Saturday Morning

2010-07-17T10:08:00.000-07:00

The house is full again. River is off and married now, but Isaiah returned home with us again. He is starting his second year of college this year and we have all discussed the pros and cons of living back at home for him, and all has agreed that living home is the most responsible choice. I'm thrilled!

This morning we rose to the two littles (Roman and Boaz) sitting in bed with us watching cartoons. The fan above was spinning and filling the room with a cool breeze, therefore the two littles were up to their ears in blankets. Every once in a while Boaz would find me or Daddy to kiss on us. You know all is right in your world when you are awakened with sweet baby kisses donated without any persuasion.

After dragging ourselves out of bed we went upstairs to start a pot of coffee and Den started his famous waffles. The stir of the coffee pot and waffle iron started bringing the rest of the herd out of their beds. Pretty quickly everyone is sitting around the dining room table and living room chairs visiting about all sorts of issues; a bank decision that needs to be resolved, work orientation that's coming up, how many applications another son filled out, the anniversary party that Den and I have to attend tonight, all the while, the younger three boys are sitting on the living room floor playing a board game and allowing Bo to play with the extra pieces. Happiness is.......

Office/Bathroom Stall, Really?

2010-07-16T14:37:00.000-07:00

We pulled over to get gas and I quickly hopped out to retrieve the restroom key from the gas attendant. He hesitated at first, and then explained that someone was in the restroom doing paperwork. I looked puzzled, but then an older gentleman started walking our way and the gas attendant seemed relieved and said, "Oh never mind, here he is now." Feeling a little bit clueless I thanked him for the key and headed off in the direction that he pointed me to.

As soon as I had made my way around the suburban JilleeAnna caught up to me and exclaimed that she needed to use the restroom too. So we quickly walked to the designated door and once there I put the key into the bottom lock, as instructed, and opened the heavy weighted door. Once the door was pushed open I could see out of my peripheral vision someone grabbing an office type trash can out of the little doorway/bathroom stall that was directly in front of the main bathroom door, and since the garbage can was not cooperating it took a lengthy awkward amount of time. Yes it was an office, because there were yellow post-it notes tacked to the drywall above the little desk, and the desk was full of paperwork right beside the said garbage can. The man was trying frantically to shut the makeshift door to their office/ bathroom stall. It was so strange that I never looked up to meet eyes with the man, but quickly shot a look to JilleeAnna who was equally dumbfounded by the strange moment.

The makeshift door to the itty-bitty office/bathroom stall was now shut, but I had already determined that I was not going to use the toilet that was on the other side of the office/bathroom stall, and was trying to remove the key from the bathroom door as quickly as possible so as to not have to explain myself to the man in the office/bathroom stall. I couldn't get it to budge though. As I had my back mostly to the office/ bathroom stall door I gazed around the tiny two stall (but now one stall and one office) bathroom and saw that it was surely just a bathroom with a sink, toilet, and mirror. JilleeAnna said the office/bathroom stall door even had a little window cutout so that he could see out of his office into the bathroom. I suppose so he wouldn't become claustrophobic? Now mind you it was NOT facing the other toilet, but it was definitely invading the bathroom privacy. Plus the bathroom stall/office was so makeshift that there was no sound barrier between the toilet and his office.

I couldn't believe it. I mean who would use that bathroom? How desperate would a lady have to be? Plus, how miserable for the office employee stuck in that bathroom stall/office trying to get any work done, and add to it, that at the end of the day he has to have some hysterical stories to share with his family and friends.

JilleeAnna and I were all decked out in our dresses to go to a funeral and here we are in the dilemma of deciding how badly we have to go to the restroom. Crazy! So after a really long tug of war with the key from the main lock we finally were able to back out of the space and allow the door to shut automatically. After the door was shut soundly behind us we both just looked at each other wondering if both of us just experienced the same weird bathroom experience, and yep, sure enough we did! We giggled all the way back to the gas station.

When I returned the key and told them that we would just pass this time, the gas attendants wouldn't meet my gaze. I also didn't make a point to stress the oddity of the whole bathroom/office decision made by Chevron.

But it did take my mind off of the need to use the restroom....I guess I only thought I had to go to the bathroom really bad! lol

Funeral

2010-07-12T19:06:00.000-07:00

The funeral was beautiful. The funeral home was completely packed, which is always a comfort. The weather couldn't have been more welcoming then it was; sunny but only warm.

After the grave site service we began to wander the old cemetery that sits atop a little knoll with freshly plowed hay fields all around. There are so many loved ones buried on that chunk of land that it is full of sweet memories of good people that have gone on. One was Den's mom. The family gathered by her grave and visited on old times for awhile. Den was enjoying all the conversation, but as soon as we moved on he choked up a little. He plays the tough guy so fearlessly that it's easy to forget how tender hearted he is about his mom, and the loss of her.

Boaz was sick (of course), and therefore Mary took me and Bo home. I feel so blessed to have such good friends in my life. I am surrounded with people who really love me. I can't believe how fortunate I am sometimes. Den headed off to the dinner that was being held at the park for all who attended the funeral. The sisters from the closest assembly pitched in, and again I so appreciate all their effort.

As I sat back here in my little house with Bo I felt content....sad about the loss, but rejoicing that Aunt Esther had many years surrounded by people who really loved her; just like I do. Life has trials and pain, but through God and amazing friends and family you can get through it and hopefully count your blessings on the other side.

Aunt Esther Ward

2010-07-11T10:44:00.000-07:00

Uncle Ralph and Aunt Esther's family bible with the book opened up to the book of Esther.

This is from a really old tombstone. My heart was moved when I saw this seven year old little boy. To have a picture put on a tombstone so long ago was quite advanced. You don't see that very often for that era.

This is a picture of Den behind a rocky tombstone. I love that it looks like we have caught someone talking with the Lord, privately.

The old beautiful cemetery in Portland has the most unique and striking grave markers. This one reminded me of an old Gothic movie. I need to Photoshop the radio tower out of it, however.

A guardian angel protecting the loved one below. I put a sepia on it just to make sure that it was given the amount of antiquity it deserved.

I laid under this prayerful servant and put a greenish filter on the photo. I could have spent longer there. I have more prophetic pictures from yesterday evening, but these were a few of my favorites.

It's been a long time since I wrote on my beloved blog. It truly is beloved to me. It's like an old friend that remembers all the special stories that I probably don't. It's one that I will keep for all time and I'm so thankful to be able to return to it anytime I want. It's a comforting constant.

Dennis' Aunt Esther Ward passed away this last week, and her funeral is tomorrow. We are very sad. Although she had lost a very big part of herself to dementia the last few years she was an important part of Den's life. She really loved Den, and he felt the same about her. After her husband, Uncle Ralph, passed away Den received his bible and his flag that he earned being a veteran. He has read that bible from the pulpit more times then we could count, and the flag has been placed tenderly on our old family pump organ (another family heirloom) for many years. In fact, Dennis is a namesake for Uncle Ralph and Aunt Esther; Dennis Ward and in return we gave Roman Ward the same name to carry on their childless marriage.

I remember when I first met Aunt Esther I could tell she took a shine to me. I have no idea why, but I was thrilled. She was a bit of a hard sell on people, and she could be a wee bit strong with her judgements from time to time, but she took a liking to me. Of course, being married to Dennis opened up a lot of emotional doors, I'm sure. Anyway, I took to giving her hugs every time I saw her. At first, I could tell that it put her off, but I didn't care I was determined to give her a hug every time I saw her. She confessed that she wasn't a big "hugger", but that she (after many years) began to look forward to my hugs. Those words melted my heart even more towards her.

When she wrote a card or a letter thanking us for something or the just because card, it was deep. She was a profound writer. Her words carried weight with me, and I loved the few I received from her. Also several years ago I began making family photo calendars and giving them out as gifts for Christmas. I wasn't sure everyone would enjoy them as much as I did throughout the year, but one year she told me that the only thing she wanted was a photo calendar from us. Again, she knew how to make me and my family feel loved.

She will be missed. Den and I carry the bible she gave us in our suburban and yesterday we went out to take some photos and I thought it would be neat to take a bible with us and flip it open to the book of Esther, and low and behold the very bible that we had with us to snap pictures with was her and Uncle Ralph's. I got choked up, especially not believing in coincidences. So here are some of the photos I took yesterday while Den and I walked around remembering her.

I'm so thrilled that you will see your Ralph again, Aunt Esther. What a day that will be when we all meet again in a far better place.....

Snapping Away

2010-01-27T21:24:00.000-08:00

Okay so I am having a ball with my camera. I keep wanting to call it new, but how many months can you have something before you have to drop that adjective? hehehe I mean it still is quite new to me, because the camera has so many doohiggies and such that I have yet to learn, so I am still a complete novice to all of its bells and whistles.

The first thing that I am figuring out is what I love to see through my lense. I am most definitely a "people picture" person. I cracked myself with that three P line, in fact, had to reread it to see if it made sense in word as it did in my mind. You get what I mean, right?

Anyway, right now I feel so blessed to have children of my own to photograph. I am learning that I love up close and personal shots, and I am personally quite taken with brilliant colors, none of these black and whites for me (yet). I'm sure, like everything else in my life, I will find that my passions change and evolve.

Den bought me a Photoshop program for Christmas, and I thought that I wouldn't really use it or that I needed it, and now I am regretting taking it back. What was I thinking? *shaking my head at myself* There is so many fun things you can do with pictures with that program.

For now, I will enjoy the simplicity of my raw and mostly untouched photos. Yes, I have cropped them from time to time, however I don't want to get use to having to crop a pic in order to get a dramatic photo. First of all, you lose resolution when you resize it. Second, I want to get used to capturing that moment accurately.

So here goes a few photos that I took today at the park with my Littles. Oh what fun! Picasa 3 (my current photo program that is a free download) has a collage technique. I love it! So enjoy a few of my faves from today's outing........

This is a collage of the day Boaz turned 21 months, (today). I think I may make this an 8X10.
I told them we were done for a bit and of course Roman was ready to jump off the bench! Boaz really wanted to join him but didnt have the same confidence in his ability, but boy did he admire his 4 year old brother!

These pictures started off with my Littles facing me on the bench. Boaz, again, grew weary of me with my camera and turned around. Which gave Roman the same idea. I try not to be too posey with the boys, but try to capture the "REAL" them. Just trying to follow them as they are just boys being boys...

This one was posed. I could ask Roman to put his arm around Boaz, but the top photo is real of Boaz giving up his love without guidance. I love both pictures!

Roman is on his Toy Story bike with his new little Toy Story backpack that he just had to wear to the park. Loving the hole on his knee in the jeans. To be honest, having six boys has introduced me to more holey knees than I ever thought possible. Therefore, a pic with a hole in a knee will forever more remind me of my sons.....

This 6 week old baby fist belongs to Mary's newest baby girl.

This is her perfect little 6 week foot, too. I loved the lighting in these. These photos didnt have to be retouched or cropped in anyway, either. So pleased.....:)

Feel The Love

2010-01-25T18:48:00.000-08:00

You know what keeps troublesome times in perspective? Love.....It comes in all shapes, sizes, colors and forms of delight. Sometimes it comes to you person to person through a touch, or maybe it's the invisible words from a friend over the telephone line and it seeps into your pores and right in to your heart, all tasty; like honey to a pudgy bear. Yes, it shows up in many unique ways, but today my heart was dripping with it, all generously given by my baby.

I had sat in my recliner pondering life, relationships, etc and "Bobo" came dragging in Roman's terry soft "Cars" blanket behind him. He had a destination in mind and it was on my soft motherly lap. He smiled and sleepily smiled and clumsily climbed into my arms. He could have felt content at that point, but no, he planted a soft sweet baby kiss right on my lips; to which we both smiled silently at each other. I generously put cartoons on for him, just to secure this moment for a little longer. He turned around with his blanket and laid his round toddler head on my chest. I rocked him while looking out my window, and thought, "What a gift!" Toddlers know just when to come snuggle in. Maybe they can sense it, or maybe they are more in tuned with the Lord when he whispers the idea to go find mommy and hunker down with her for awhile. Either way, that sweet chunk of love was just what I needed. I have reflected about it off and on all day today......

River and Jilleeanna's Engagement Pictures

2010-01-18T15:17:00.000-08:00

Okay, I guess I should have posted the fact that I took these photos of the kids. I absolutely love photography, but I have a LOT to learn. Finding unique poses was a complete blast for me, and as far as beautiful backgrounds there were so many choices to choose from at the coast that it wasn't difficult at all.

River and Jilleeanna were such great sports because the coast was stormy, and when I say stormy I mean crazy winds, rainy and drizzly off and on all day, and the ocean was so fierce that the only color that was consistent in the photos was the white from the caps of the waves. However, Jilleeanna didn't make a single complaint as she whisked her jacket off several times and threw it over a large piece of drift wood. We were all quite taken with her resolve.....*big smile* River being kind and quite smitten with his young bride-to-be wasn't excited about the picture taking experience, but was very willing to stay as long as it took to make us girls happy with our picture choices.

Plus, since everyone else is getting a sweet mention let me just say that Den stayed in tow, holding extra lenses, jackets and umbrellas so that nothing ever needed to touch the wet mud or sandy ground. What a good man I have!!

Laundry Woes, Take 52

2010-01-14T15:23:00.000-08:00

Boaz enjoying his cupcake with his clothes ON......
Boaz being stripped to his diaper after prior cupcake was devoured......see my point?! hehehe

Just a wee example of "amazons" clothes drying....painstakingly....drip drop...tick tock....

We are headed to the coast in the morning; It will be our whole family and Jilleeanna (maybe, just maybe my mom, but not holding my breath.) Our first family trip with an actual fiance'. Crazy to think about really....(big smile).

So today is about catching up on my laundry. If there is anything that I detest it's laundry, and that goes for clean laundry that needs to be put away right alongside of the dirty bunch. I am not a respecter of clothes, anymore than I am of people. lol Even though two sons have left the nest I find that my laundry pile is relentless. Having toddlers adds twice as much to the burden. They are just messy little creatures. I find that Boaz is in a diaper often times in the middle of the day just because he has been stripped down to his diaper only after a hearty meal because more of the food landed on his clothing than in his mouth; hopeless really. It gives the illusion that the poor lad lacks clothes, however I can assure you that, based on my pile of pb&j stained clothes, he does NOT! lol

The other challenge within this family is the fact that mommy is tall, hence the dryer is not her best friend when it comes to her clothing. Yes, I am referring to myself in the third person....don't ask me why.... Anyway, the difficulty is making sure to rescue any and all clothes that may get shrunk if put in the dryer and therefore makes the washing/drying routine a little stressful at times. Plus, yes I know that this problem is now being made larger than it really is, I will add the fact that waiting for tall clothes to dry while hanging is pain staking. Everything must be planned in advance, otherwise all clothes will be soaking wet when she needs to wear them last minute. Ohhhh the woes of being an amazon!!!

Toddler In Progress!

2010-01-14T12:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I have some work to do with my 5th son....Mr. Roman, who just turned 4.

While purchasing some preschool books from Abeka, for my toddler, I had a moment of sitting on the couch with him. I had been deliberating in my mind what subjects to cover, one of them being basic bible stories and saw a perfect opportunity to engage the little lad in an impromptu chat about God. Here is how it went:

Mom: Roman do you pray?

Roman: (deep voice for a toddler) What?

Mom: Do you talk to God?

Roman: You have to help me.

Mom: Do you know where God lives?

Roman: Ummm....in a hotel.

Mom: (surprised smile) No. He lives in Heaven.

Roman: Where's that?

Mom: (Puzzled at how to respond) Well he sort of lives in the clouds.

Roman: (Very excited and surprised at this information) How does He get down?

Mom: He is very powerful.

Roman: (not satisfied with that response) How does He get down, Mom?

Mom: He can do anything.

Roman: Pausing

Mom: Pausing more out of being stumped on how to explain it better to my very literal toddler.

Mom: So do you know where Heaven is?

Roman: It's right by the hotel! Now can I have some pop?

Mom: Yep! (Whew....we have some work to do!!)

One By One

2010-01-12T16:19:00.000-08:00

How thankful I am for conversations. It is surprising and refreshing to know that son number 3 is interested in the Lord, ever bit as much as the first 2. No big surprise really, but as a mother I worry. Today was a comfort to know that he is asking all the right questions about the Lord too. We chatted about all sorts of spiritual things and at the end of it I felt a little weathered. More surprising he didn't seem all that weathered at all. Most boys have a vocabulary of about 500 words a day...hehehe, and in that conversation alone we exceeded it, I'm sure.

I also expressed to him that I hoped that if something were ever to happen to me that I hoped and prayed that the very same conversations would take place with the younger boys. That everything he learned would need to be handed down to them as well. He smiled and reassured me....:)

So as the day begins to come to a close and Den is about to walk in the door after a long hard day I quietly consider motherhood. I prayed at the end of my conversation with Levi that I was able to reach his heart. I prayed that the Lord would give me wisdom in those types of conversations and thanked Him for the heart that I see Levi has. As the Lord draws my boys in the faith one by one I feel deeply thankful. What a peace to see the Lord being mindful of each one.

More Thoughts.....

2010-01-02T10:43:00.000-08:00

Okay, I started this morning off with a luke warm cup of coffee and that is NOT the way to start off a morning. No way! So Levi dumped it out, for me, and we are starting it again, oh if only everything in life were that easy to start again.

Mike and Tammy and girls spent the night at Rusty and Mary's last night, and they will be spending another night over there tonight. Then we will be getting them back for 2 or 3 more nights after that. He has to get some things lined up with the Carpenters Union before they can head home and start packing their house up for the big move up here at the end of the month. Our little assembly will certainly be praying for them so that everything can go as smoothly as possible for them.

It felt good to have them in church Thursday night. Once all of our home brethren come home from their holiday travels our little church house will be plum full. We have been getting a lot of visiting brethren in still and so the Lord continues to let us know that He is mindful of us. WHEW!

My little townhouse is small, but I think it's pretty cute. It's a temporary solution this year, but I am really enjoying it. We have lived here 3 weeks and we have had company 2 of those weeks so far. What a great way to christen a house. I get a little nervous about larger families coming in, not because of me but because I dont want them to feel crowded. However, through the years, even when I was a girl we had kids sleeping all over the floor of our house and those are the best memories of hospitality. I just have to remind myself of that.

Lastly, the wedding to come. Hmmmm....boundaries. I want to be so careful to not step on bride's families toes. I want to do what I can to help, but not make anyone feel uncomfortable. After all, a little girl dreams of her wedding day for many years, and truth be told most boys don't. At least my boys didn't. You hear stories of people who feel like the grooms family wasn't involved enough or the ones that took it over....lol I want to be neither story. I just want to celebrate this wonderful event, and be exactly what I need to be.......

A Whole NEW Year!

2010-01-01T21:57:00.000-08:00

2010....It rolled right in. It came in with dear friends by our side, and with the wonderful news that River became engaged to Jilleeanna. I could cry at this momentous occasion. It sure makes me stop and think about how blessed we are. I wanted River to get married to a good girl, and one that would put the Lord first, and God delivered. I have been praying for my boys and their companions since River was about 8. Yes, that sounds young, but honestly it feels like yesterday. In fact, maybe I should have started praying for this the day he was born....lol However, now that I have began that prayer for River it included all my sons and therefore Boaz's "companion" prayer started at birth. Oh the blessings of being the sixth son, right? :)

I have always wanted to prove to myself, and to the Lord that I would give my all to becoming as good of a mother in law as I have tried to be a mom. I have seen many loving older sisters who have shown me the way ( and some who were good examples of mistakes), and I hope to be prayerful enough to begin this journey in a positive way. ACK....I find myself actually getting choked up.....that tight feeling in the back of my throat. What an honor. Thank you God for allowing me to see this day come to fruition. *sigh* Oh.... to see many more milestones for my children and their children....God please hear my private prayers, as I know you do.

Even as I type this about my eldest son, my baby boy (20 months old) wallows on my lap and requires kisses, and of course I oblige this important need of his. Having older boys makes me see the importance and delight of raising my younger sons more clearly. It goes fast Lord....Life is but a vapor that appeareth for a little while. It sure makes me want to make sure that I don't forget my purpose here, and not to get lazy about raising these little souls.

Happy New Year....what a blessing to have good enough health to enjoy all that we love. Thank you for 2010, God!!!

Finally, Pictures!!!

2009-11-08T21:26:00.000-08:00

Den bought me a new camera this last week. You see, I love photography! I have never owned an SLR digital camera though, and have made do with my other cameras. However, I have always grieved the thought that the window of opportunity to shoot my own children while they are young, with the sort of quality that I knew an SLR is capable of made me a little weepy. Either way I knew I would enjoy all my photos, but now that I have one I would like to get a lot better at taking photographs.

I find that I lean towards photos of people. I love capturing beauty in others. I dont mean just the posed kind either. Nor do I mean the kind of beauty that models have, but the beauty of thought, moments, and just real life. That is my kind of photography. Those kinds of photos just suck me in.

Anyway, I took so many pictures it was sort of ridiculous. I love that I could just delete the many many bad ones and hold on to some of the good ones. I have some posed photos, but I have some great photos that were also taken that were REAL. Moments I had hoped I would capture in my lifetime. So when these days are vague distant memories we can remember the moments behind the scenes. The moments that make a life. My life.....

I gave Den the camera so he could snap away at his stuff, and he caught this of Abram and I. Abram was asking me when we would get to go fishing again. I think I will always remember our conversation when I look at this picture. (I never would have let Den take a picture of me from behind, but this moment in time means everything to me.)

This picture of a 19 month old can't be forced. This was truly a photo of Bo letting us know he was weary with the camera at this point. LOL

This was Boaz still grimacing at the camera. Since the face hiding wasn't working he tried to plug his ears. I had never seen him plug his ears before. I was surprised he knew how to do that....hahaha

Again, Bo was not being Mr. Cheesy and Den had mentioned that he wasn't smiling...so I was trying to sneak a peek....

We were trying to be creative behind this log...but I love how the little ones are just doing their thing. PERFECT!

Okay, I hate pictures of me laughing. Let me be honest, Im not super fond of pictures of me. But I am determined to show up more in family photo albums. I want the boys to remember me in lots of different moments. I was trying to get the boys to give me a kiss at the same time, but there was a fast little stream beside us and Den was stressing that the boys were going to fall in, and the chaos of it just struck me funny!! (You know it's real because hands and body parts are blurred from the movement.) Love that!

Abram and Roman were being super silly on some stumps and I just snapped away. I love this animated photo of my little Roman.

This flower is found behind my ear all summer and spring long. Why? Because my little boys are always plucking them from the ground, hiding them behind their backs, and gifting them to me, waiting for the yellow blossom to be placed behind my ear. I ALWAYS oblige, ALWAYS!

This is another photo of Roman and Boaz on those stumps. While Abram is trying to find his zen, Roman is on a whole other level....hehehe

We thought this little bridge would make an awesome back drop with all the fall leaves and green trees. Just as I was getting ready to get a picture taken with Roman I noticed that he had some toddler leftovers on his tiny mouth, and like a good mama I used my saliva to wipe it clean (Only babies and toddlers will tolerate that)...lol Den snapped away....good job Daddy!!

Levi took this of his parents. Its posey, but I can see by my body language just how happy Den makes me, and I know how much he loves me. What a good feeling...when I see this.

Levi is 14, and since River and Isaiah are in their own place I know that my time left with Levi is limited. He isn't my baby, per say, anymore. Our relationship is evolving...and our body language shows that we are good friends. I not only LOVE Levi, but I really enjoy him!

Lovin' The Neighborhood

2009-10-07T07:56:00.000-07:00

Mornings at our new house is divine. I love living over here for a few great reasons. First of all, the house is small enough that when we get up early in the morning, and if I've done my nightly chores, the house feels cozy and relatively warm. Our last house was gorgeous and large, but it was also brutally drafty. I mean we had 8 doors and I have no idea how many large picturesque windows that weakly fought the drafts. All that I know is that it was a beast to keep warm on a fall or winter day. This house is so snug that if someone is drinking a hot cup of coffee we can feel the heat in the other room. Okay that may be a slight exaggeration, but you get the drift. This is important since if you know me AT ALL, I hate hate hate being cold and that horrible pet peeve doesn't rear it's ugly head that often in this house.

Secondly, this year Levi is going to school (he hasn't been to school since 3rd grade), he is a freshman and he is doing quite well, so far. Anyway, over at this house he can walk to school, rather than taking the bus at 7:15am. He doesn't have to leave our house until 8am, and therefore gives us plenty of time to chat and relax on any given morning.

Thirdly, Abram and Levi are both in football (different teams, obviously) and they are able to walk to the field for all their practices. This frees up mommy! I have walked there with the two littles, but again I can walk there. Everything is close and convenient.

Fourthly, the walk to the grocery store is equally close. I can nab a gallon of milk, or this morning a container of laundry detergent at the last minute. It makes my life so much simpler and with three boys at home and all that I try to accomplish in a day I feel like I have everything at my fingertips in the small neighborhood community.

Lastly, but certainly not least is that Mary lives in this very neighborhood. Their little family is walking distance. The other night Den and I walked over to hang out with them. We loaded the little boys in our double stroller, Abram hopped on his bike and Den and I waltzed over as a family on a warm fall day. I am happy. There are trade-offs and I could give you the other side of the perspective of country life too, but I have to say at this phase of my life I appreciate the simplicity of neighborhood living.

Convenience Shouldn't Come First

2009-10-06T09:43:00.000-07:00

I am loving this Fall weather. The weather is starting to get nippy but the sun is still shining. It's time to start making soups and such. There is nothing like the aroma of warm soup simmering in a crockpot on an Autumn day, maybe throw a little bread in to bake as well.

One of the wonderful things about homemade soup or homemade anything, for that matter, is that I control what goes in to the recipe. I can make sure the ingredients are fresh and healthy. I have been trying for the last few years to be better about making healthy choices for my family but find it difficult to embrace the lifestyle all around. Let me be perfectly honest...I'm lazy. lol The grocery store is full of easy "grab and go" foods for our children, and when I'm busy it is so simple to just throw something in the microwave and voila' food is ready for children. However, my microwave is sort of making me feel yucky as a parent. I find that the more I learn about microwaves and what they do to your foods the more concerned I become. I heard...(although I havent done the serious research) that the high heat from our microwaves changes the enzymes and the metabolics of our food so that the body doesn't know what to do with the so-called food and therefore just turns it into fat inside the body. That is not okay!!! I love my microwave...it's red! hahaha It matches my kitchen....seriously how pathetic am I? I need to just get rid of it. I can warm up stuff the old fashioned way, even invest in a countertop toaster oven. Yes,it takes a little longer, but the taste is far superior. When I cook chicken nuggets or french fries in my oven the boys rave about it. I would like to get away from even prepared foods at all, but I am taking baby steps as I go. So today we will have some homemade soup and homemade bread for dinner. Something healthy that my families' bodies can actually use and will keep them strong and healthy. Join me as I experiment with different natural sugars and recipes and I explore getting back to earth and the way God intended for us to eat and live our lives.

Stop And Smell The Rubber

2009-10-05T12:26:00.000-07:00

What joy the most simplistic item can bring children, and it's quite contagious. Bro. Matt and Sis. Tisha gave my boys a bag of goodies from Ruby's birthday party and inside the bag of many treats were balloons. Well those balloons have brought the boys in this house great joy!! Thankfully there were more than just a couple because you know how balloons happen to pop and fizzle while being played with by active little boys.

The first thing that Abram decided to do was to grab a marker and to draw faces on each of the balloons. This is when I realized that he has quite the artistic little flair. In fact, a couple of them made me giggle. Of course, I had to leave my own mark on the red one by drawing a jack o' lantern face. As I sat in the recliner, in the living room, the boys were all in a fervor over the balloons being bopped with intensity in to the air, and they would wait with loud panted breath as they would slowly billow back down, only to be hit with full steam in to the air again. The laughing that came from Boaz made the moment absolutely priceless. I had to get in on that action by batting a few ballons myself; making sure that the balloon was well placed above my 18 month old, who had his tiny pudgy arms extended as high they would allow so that he could tackle the colorful piece of stretched rubber. Oh the sound the ballon would make as it screamed out from the pressure and rubbing; all the while I would whence a little here and there waiting to see if the balloon would "POP"!

This activity burned me out after a few minutes but it kept my boys enthusiastic for about an hour as they came up with more and more games that tied in with the expressions that were drawn on the ballons. Having three little boys makes me so happy and causes me to stop and smell the.......uhhhh....rubber....hehehe

A Day Is A Year and Vice Versa

2009-09-29T11:27:00.001-07:00

Okay so here I go with a second post. I'm on a roll! hehehe

What if you thought you only had a year left, or even two years left? Would you look at your daily life differently? I think we should all look at life that way, I mean none of us know the day nor the hour. For me it would be impractical to live every day as if it was truly my last, because if I truly believed it was my last day on this earth I would probably spend every moment of that day in prayer. Maybe in earnest solitude with the Lord, nothing else would compare than meeting my maker in that hour. However, thinking about a year left changes things. I want to live my life that way. What kind of a mother and wife would I be? What kind of sister in the Lord? Wouldn't I be better about making all of those phone calls? Maybe I would have more people in my home gathered around the dinner table talking on good things? Always squeezing in the "I love you's" that I already try to share. Of course the answer for me would be yes to all of the above, and honestly yes to alot more things not listed. I would probably let a lot of things go and be careful to never carry a grudge. I would remember to smile a lot, laugh, and rejoice in each day that I was given. Wouldn't that be a wonderful way to live out your last year? I am sure that if Den said Trina let's go here for church, or let's do this, I would be less selfish for my flesh and more anxious to live in the spirit. I know that I live my life more in the "that's not so convenient for me right now" mode. What a waste of time. I'm going to be more careful with my speech and more diligent to think and dwell on good things. I mean maybe I have 10-30 years left, or maybe today will be a day of judgement for me....I don't know...but I'm going to live my life one year at a time to strike a healthy harmonious balance. Every day counts when you only have 365 of them, right?

Confirmations

2009-09-28T17:44:00.001-07:00

Okay I am determined to blog again. I have a new sense of purpose. This is my legacy to my children so that they will never forget me....

The Lord has been speaking to me and I realize that writing is so very important to me and so my writing will continue on.

You know there have been times in my life where I didn't feel the Lord as close as I should have. Times that I wondered where He was at all; all the while knowing that it was only me that was missing in that important equation. Lately, I have been experiencing that emptiness. I guess. Maybe not truly missing it all together, but any degree of that makes me uncomfortable. How easy it is to let life run away with you and how quickly the day to day tasks of life can consume your every thoughts; and prayer becomes an after thought. Not okay. I was sitting in meeting last Thursday night and Den had got down to pray. Then I realized that I wasn't really seeking the Lord with my heart to pray, so I began to examine myself, and truth be told I didn't really want to openly pray. After all, I had a lot of things I needed to apologize to the Lord about and NOW wasn't a good time, then again NOW never seemed to be a good time, lately. Then I realized NOW is exactly the right time. After I got up I felt lighter, but I began to feel a little blue. (How quickly my emotions run different colors.) The meeting was rather slow and I was becoming quickly discouraged with the silence. I was starving; I had come to be spiritually fed. I began to have a private conversation with the Lord in my head. I very clearly began to question the promise of where two or three are gathered there would His spirit be also, so I began to beg the Lord to make Himself known. I mean, there was several of us there that evening. No sooner had I concluded my petition when Den got up and said, "Brethren, where two or three are gathered there is His spirit also. Are you truly seeking it, or are you just in the room half- heartedly looking around?" Warm wet tears streamed down my face. It was a confirmation for me. Thank you God!

God has been giving me lots of little confirmations. Sure I could say well that was a coincidence or that was just common knowledge, but I know. I know in my heart who I am dealing with. The ALMIGHTY GOD! So today I havent felt great. I have been laying in bed with a heat pad considering my life and my relationship with Him. I'm not where I want to be. I'm standing too far, but He is God and I am but a servant; so I am going to pick up my skirt so as to get there a little faster and find a seat a little...no a lot...closer to my Lord. This way I can hear Him. I love when He speaks to me, there is no better feeling in the world. None.

2009-09-03T13:49:00.000-07:00

Some new house pics. We moved a little under 2 weeks ago, but we are making progress quickly. The house is very small compared to our last house. The last house was 3800sqft. and this house is 1800sqft. You do the math on that one.....hahaha But I do love it! I am just having to pare back and make sure that everything we keep has a place in the house. I can definitely live my life that way, anyway. So here are a few pics for you to visualize with me.....

Well here I am, back at it.....posting. I haven't really missed blogging for this short spurt, but then again I have taken these sorts of hiatus' in the past and they were really good for me. They gave me a little clarity and some time to not rethink life; just experience it.

Okay so we have moved. We are officially in our new home. We are buying it! It is much smaller but it's all mine and I'm really excited to just have the what ifs done. The last house was gorgeous, large and full of land but the owner just wasn't getting his permits in order and Den and I became more and more anxious about it. Then the older boys struck it out on their own and the house just seemed like less and less of a good fit. The responsibilites of it all was too much for just Den and I. Although I miss it a little, I am incredibly happy to be simplifying and downsizing our lives. I have discovered that I need to have a huge yard sale in a few weeks to get rid of all the extras. We tried to cram all of our furniture in this house, and for most the part we have succeeded....(LOL), but some of it just would NOT fit! So it will need to go....and soon. I also went through the boys' closet and cleaned out the clothes that don't fit or were wore out and we still have too much; at least for the little boys. You see, we have had lots of boy hand-me-downs and then I always think they need a little of this and a little of that and then "boom" the closet is packed to the brim.

So with only 4 boys living at home things have taken a remarkable turn. We see River and Isaiah all the time, but they are in their own little trailer. River owns it, and is so excited to be accomplishing it all on his own. Isaiah seems to be a good fit with him. He has been traveling quite a bit to Eugene to see a little girl that he has taken quite the shine too. River only wishes he could see his girl as frequently, but she lives all the way in Colorado. Anyhooo, so I don't cross any lines on the discretion homefront I will change subjects. This has Levi as the oldest at home. He has his own room, Abram has his own room and Roman and Boaz are sharing a room. It's a neat but strange turn events for the family. I find that with Levi busying himself with sports and such that I am the primary caretaker again. Not that I wasn't before, but I certainly could run here or there, independently, and now I have the three youngest with me all the time again. It's sort of like going back in time 10 years. I think it gives me a new appreciation for it all over again.

So this weekend we will be heading to the Oregon Campout, as usual. The boys are pumped! I believe my Uncle Jon and Aunt Lanetta are due in tomorrow to spend the day and night with us before we all head out. More posts to come soon.

I'm Not Going To Dread Change

2009-07-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

Things are changing so quickly and so drastically. Boaz is signing the word hungry now, which is great to know when he is ready to eat. Plus, he loves the fact that he can sign this word and someone tries to meet his needs. He is also waving and saying (in a very small high voice), "HI". It is so sweet and it makes him incredibly happy to get hi responses back. He is growing up so fast that I am celebrating his growth, but trying to hang on to his babyhood at the same time.

Roman is starting to count and express his preschool self more and more too. He is also mimicking his older brothers and it is a real crack up. In fact, he let me know that Sis. Marisela's pool "Rocks" while we were at their house for another wonderful bbq.

Levi has began football practices as of last week. To see that unfold in our lives again feels very familiar, and it makes him very happy to be a part of a team again. He hurt his finger during a scrimmage, but he toughed it out and continued to go to practice with a very swollen and black and blue digit. He is a tough cookie!

River and Isaiah are staying very busy with their jobs. In fact, it seems we hardly see them. When we do see them it's only for short spurts of time at dinner, in the mornings, or brief windows of time on weekends. They are starting to do their own thing more and more. I am anxiously watching their lives unfold as they begin to grow their own branch of life. They are considering getting an apartment to share together. Even though Isaiah is only 17 he graduated last year and has already attended a year of college. I am not super excited about his venture, but on the otherhand River and he are very best friends and are very good responsible young men. They will make a very solid team as they take off on their own (Of course, Dad and Mom will be close enough by for any and all emergencies). I have mixed feelings about this all the time, so don't be surprised to read other posts where I am full of anxiety about it. However, none of it has taken root as of yet, so we shall see how much of it is talk and how much of it is real.

Den and I have decided that we are going to move. We have found a house that we are working on, however we aren't sure if it will all turn out. If that house doesn't work out then we will just find a smaller cheaper home to rent for the meantime until we find something we love and want to buy. Nevertheless, we are in the process of making a deal on a house and we will begin our packing. I HATE packing and so do my boys, but I have explained that a couple weeks worth of work is nothing compared to the end result. So we shall push through this yucky-up in the air-full of change- period and wait and pray to see what is on the other side.

Thank you so much for your encouraging words and offers of prayers.....I would so appreciate them!!!

Big House Decisions

2009-07-23T17:16:00.000-07:00

We are thinking about moving houses. Yes, I know that we live in a beautiful home in the country....I have thought about this decision for many months now. We have gone back and forth at least a half dozen times and each time we decide to ponder it a little longer. Maybe THIS will be another one of those times...I don't know really.

As the boys are getting older and beginning to stay busy with their own jobs that are away from the house we realize that the workload of all this land and animals is a lot to do, especially for me. Since I still have little ones to care for I find that I don't have the time, nor do I care to invest the time that it takes, daily, to care for them all. We have thought about the positives of living in town where all things are much more accessible again, and I really love that idea. Den is ready to just make me happy. He realizes that my utmost goal in our marriage, besides serving the Lord, is to be submissive to him and to his dreams, and I have tried to live out each one of his dreams. However, NOW, he is ready to make my life easier. I am not sure what I really want to do. I see the pros and cons to both situations. So we are going to pray about it. We are going to start setting things in motion while earnestly seeking the Lord and see how the Lord works things out. Does God care where I live? Ohhhhh probably not, but I know that when we take all things to God, all things will matter. So here it is God, have a look-see, and let us know which way will bring about contentment in our lives.....

I'm Just Sitting Here....In The Dark....Again

2009-07-09T13:30:00.000-07:00

How many hours have I spent hiding in the dark abyss of my bedroom waiting for a baby or toddler to fall asleep? Honestly, the number would probably astound you and even me. After six boys, and all of them going through difficult nap times, I have found myself hiding in my closet, sitting on the floor or even slithering out on my belly to try to squeeze out the squeaky bedroom door that leaves me grimacing and praying that the sound doesn't wake up the prince of crankiness., and 2009 has me filling out the same time cards. What will my life be like, eventually, when I can step in and out of my bedroom ,where a crib is still assembled, of my own free will and with all the sound of an elephant in the jungle? I, honestly, can't imagine that day.....and maybe that will be good because the likelihood of me watching my grandbabies and doing the same routine for them on any given weekend surely awaits me. Maybe I should give classes on how to escape baby rooms at naptime like a Navy Seal....quiet and stealth so you can enjoy the quiet hour of bliss that you spend in ridiculous giddy laughter that comes from a crazy mom that doesn't know what to do with her time, alone. Alone.....what a funny unfamiliar word.....

I Did NOT Just See That

2009-07-09T12:51:00.000-07:00

There is just something about taking a bath next to a dirty toilet that just grosses me out. I bet it would gross anyone out, to be honest. I hopped into a hot steamy tub instead of a hot steamy shower because I was chilled this morning and thought that a delicious hot soak sounded blissful. Yes, I normally save that sort of luxury for the evening, but who wrote the rules on bath times, anyway? But now I realize that there is some rhyme or reason to this unwritten rule. You see, by evening all chores have been accomplished and the bathroom doesn't have left over underwear, diapers, brown socks and wet towels dripping all over the room. Mornings are just not the time to let your mind relax and wander in that sort of distracting untidy environment. Actually, I will confess that it was worse, the toilet had toddler skid marks on it. As I dipped my body in the white tub and laid my head on the back of the tub my eyes conveniently landed on the brown residue. I sat up to get a better look, only because I was hoping to discover that it was just the glare of the skylight, somehow. However, once sitting erect I realized that it was EXACTLY what I feared. I think I may have even rolled my eyes and shook my head even though no one else was in the room to read my body language or enjoy my facial disgust. So I plopped down the lid to at least try to avert my eyes to the rest of the porecelain throne, but that is when the other finger smears caught my attention. When did things go so wrong? When did things like toilet paper use fall to the wayside....ummm maybe when Roman was potty trained. All the while that I am having this dialogue in my mind I hear Mr. Roman talking through the wood door of my bathroom asking for something to eat. AGAIN?! Geesh....no wonder we are having so many toilet issues lately......food=waste. You do the math! hehehe

This is when I decided that I wasn't going to take a leisure bath after all.....nope I was going to drain the tub and take a hot sanitizing shower instead.....there was work to be done! And hands to be washed (scrubbed) on a certain toddler I know.

Our Little Escapades

2009-06-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

I'm still on "holiday", but since we have stopped by (you guessed it) a Starbucks to nab another delicious green tea soy latte I decided to whip out my little blue laptop and write about our romantic weekend. I meant to do it from the hotel room but for some reason we couldn't log-in, and we were too lazy to run the computer down to the lobby to have them figure it out. After all, we had better things to do, like hike around the city and eat stuff that wasn't on our latest cleanse. What cleanse was the question? lol Anyway, we have had such a lovely time together. Den went the extra mile with rose petals laid all over the hotel room floor, (poor maid) and fine tuned all the whimsical little details that said he had been thinking about me. I sure am lucky to have such a sweet man.

My favorite thing we did was to go the Melting Pot; which is a fondue restaurant. The cheese fondue was good, but the chocolate fondue absolutely sent me over the top of cloud nine. You see I haven't had ANY chocolate for such a long time that I almost when into sugar shock, but somehow I mustered enough will power to lick the last bit off the skewer. It was rich and decadent, but they had some marshmallows on the platter to dip and that about made me gag just loooking at it. Needless to say, I am NOT a marshmallow fan....AT ALL! Den did his fair share though and had a few bites so that they wouldn't go to waste. What a GUY!

We road the bus throughout town Thursday and Friday and since it was free we stayed on longer for little trips here and there. It was fun to be in the crowds and to be part of the scene, but it also made me appreciate our little slice of heaven on the ranch....we call it that but it is more of a sweet term for a little chunk of land that is filled with boys and animals.

Surprisingly, I couldn't sleep in, like I had planned. I guess I have just trained my body to get up early enough that it wasn't listening to me trying to reason with it to stay in that delicous slumber land just an hour more. Oh well....I enjoyed every moment of my extended weekend. I feel replenished and ready to head for home this evening. I spoke to Roman on the phone and his little toddler voice made me smile. Of course, he had to let me know that Levi said no when he wanted more food. I laughed, because Roman is always ready to eat, and so I said okay let me talk to Levi again, to which he said Mom...I tell you Levi said Noooooo. However, I am sure that the little man hasn't dropped any weight, but it is nice to hear that life is normal at home too. Seriously....I have a good life and I am keenly aware of all that is good in it.

21 Years.....GEESH!

2009-06-25T08:19:00.000-07:00

It is our anniversary today.....21 years! Honestly, is it just me or does this time of year roll around quicker and quicker for everybody? It is kind of scary that our anniversary is here again. I'm so thankful to have another year with Den. I see that this time is more and more precious as we continue to get older and older. I pray that we have many more to come together.

Den has planned a romantic getaway that starts this evening. We will be missing church tonight, but we will return for church on Sunday. We are staying downtown in a beautiful little hotel on the waterfront. I am excited. We haven't been able to do this all of our married life, because we didn't really have anyone to watch our kids, but for the last 3 years (counting this one) we have been letting the older boys babysit our younger boys for us. It has been such a treat to have the opportunity to have these weekends from time to time, they rejuvenate the spirit.

We stay close enough by that if there are any problems it is a quick return, but honestly we have heard of hiccups that the boys experience while we have been away and they haven't called us once, they just "man up" for lack of a better word. I sure appreciate their hearts and their diligence to keep Den and I on our date. They are incredible boys!

I had to laugh yesterday when I was speaking to Sis. Bridgette on the phone and I was telling her that Den and I were going to take off for our anniversary tonight, when she said she thought our anniversary was in March. I assured her that it wasn't.....lol, but that March was a busy month for birthdays at our house, so maybe that was where she was confused. Then she giggled and said oh that's right you guys go away for your anniversary in June and end up with a baby in March! I laughed and agreed! To which I explained that Den and I had already thought of that, and that Den and I were pretty sure that another baby was not going to be squeezed in to the month of March AGAIN......good Lord willing. *wink wink*

Is It Supposed To Be This Hard?

2009-06-24T05:44:00.000-07:00

As I lay in bed at 4:30am my mind won't shut down. It seems to be a problem I have more and more. Den has rolled out of bed and I continue to lay there and think about starting my day, and trying to envision how it should go. I stress the word "should" because it rarely goes as planned. I have all these lofty dreams of getting this done and this accomplished only to see that things take longer than they should or other things just come up. I don't know; there is a bit of a lazy streak in me lately too, if I want to be completely honest. Often, I start my day feeling a little defeated before I have even begun; to which I acknowledge is the worst attitude to have. *sigh*

I am in transition mode; whatever that REALLY means. I am experiencing emotions that I haven't felt before in motherhood. After all, this is my first time through it and, often, I am filled with so much self doubt about HOW I am doing it that I have an inner warfare. Where is the book on me, my children and mothering anyway? I don't want to read one that is full of all the perfect answers with all the perfect children and how the mom ALWAYS did the right thing, but I also don't want to read the one that is all about mistakes either. Ohhhh I don't know what I want, or is it that I know what I want and it is just not achievable? Well you are experiencing just a very short journey of my inner war.....welcome! hehehe

So let's start with the basics. I have two families growing in this house and I feel out of balance with it. My teenagers want to have freedom and no commitments. My little ones are all consumed with mommy, and I find all I want to do is escape with Den somewhere at the end of everyday. I want to let my house just go and not put so much pressure on myself and boys to keep it running tip top, but I already feel like I have lowered the bar so much from how I was raised that I often feel discouraged. Yes, I know I have six boys, and I was raised in a house with two girls. I completely, logically, get that, but it doesn't change my point of view. I still see what I see, and I still can't find what I need to find on any given day. Often times I am a drill sergeant making the boys do things this way or that way just so we can find pairs of shoes on a Sunday morning, and then other days I feel like I was too hard on everyone and everything goes to pot and we can't find a single pair of shoes on Sunday. It seems to me that there isn't a happy medium. Believe you me...I AM TRYING TO FIND IT!

When I lay in bed at 5am I picture going downstairs and cleaning the house, keeping up with my quadrillion loads of laundry, having to go in to the closet (THE CLOSET) to put them away, which translates to an hour of reorganzing and cleaning it. The dresser in the little boys' bedroom is no better. The drawers are so chug full of clothes that the drawers won't close half the time. When I go through to find a pair of Sesame Street underwear for Roman I find a hodge podge of anything and anyone's clothes in them. So frustrating! Half the time I just have to hold my breath and literally talk myself out of what I just saw and move on to the next task that NEEDS to be done at that time, like putting the Sesame Street underwear ON the innocent little three year old that is standing beside me with a towel wrapped around his miniature body. One thing at a time...I have to remind myself. Just getting the little boys fed, bathed, dressed and content long enough to move on to something else is a full time job some days; nevermind the mile long list of outside duties that are long overdue.

Then my older boys feel over worked and under paid. Oh the guilt that ensues on any given day. It is exhausting. I want to just say don't worry about the things that NEED to be done, but I can't. I can't live that way and in the long run no one wants to either. So I am trying to teach them responsibility, organization, routine and yet trying to take care of all their needs and wants to the best of my ability; which seems to be lacking in my mind. I guess I am a bit on overload.

I hesitate to blog, but at the same time what is this blog really about if not to share this journey with myself or my children later. I will be taking off the comments for now. I just don't want this to be about anything right now, but a journal. I'm sure you will all understand. =)

Swine Flu?

2009-05-19T12:55:00.000-07:00

No this isn't our little Boaz, but it could be!! hehehe He will kiss anything with his famous dangerous open mouth kiss that he just loves to give....

I received this in an email this morning (thanks Den for the good giggle). It was titled "Flu Source Found!". I had to laugh, because it sure looked like our little 14 month old boy who has no problem kissing anything that walks, as apparently this little tot does.

I thought about how the pig got the better end of this deal. I mean baby breath is sweet, but a swine's snout is DISGUSTING. Trust me I have seen them up close and personal on this little ranch of ours. YUCK!!

Sick Kisses

2009-05-13T10:18:00.000-07:00

Uh oh. No way. I can't be getting sick. Is that my joint aching at me? Surely not. Maybe Boaz wasn't ONLY teething after all. That little snotty nosed face of his that demanded comforting open mouth kisses all day long must have contaminated me. I mean the kisses were divine and kept me smiling, but why do I always think I am a super woman and won't get sick with whatever he has. I mean for the most part I don't get the sniffles or colds, but once my body DOES get something it hits me hard. This time is no different, I suppose.

I slept with a hot pad. They say that this is a hazard, but I can't help it. It is a luxury that I am able to enjoy when I'm fighting chills. I think about all the hot steaming baths I soak in and my toasty warm hot pad that lays all over me when I'm ill and I thank God for allowing me to be born in the era of such inventions. He knew I wouldn't make a very good pioneer woman if I had to endure periods, flus, and afflictions without my sources of heat.

So here I sit on my little laptop, sniffling, sneezing, chilling, and not chilling in a good way! hehehe

Mothers Day Didn't Disappoint

2009-05-11T15:46:00.000-07:00

Mothers Day was predictably wonderful. The boys didn't disappoint. They brought up a wonderful breakfast that was MY favorite. I love cream of wheat hot cereal and homemade cinnamon toast, of course let's not forget my cup of coffee with cream. It was so nice! Then out came the Mothers Day cards. It is so funny to see which cards each of the boys pick out. River chooses the more sappy grateful ones that are long and say everything, Isaiah's are more short and sweet but the photo on it normally says it all, and Levi is all about humor with a loving twist. I could have chosen which one was from whom blindly. My favorite part is to read what they personally write to me though. I am so sentimental about such things and it is by far my favorite part of each holiday. Those cards will go into my keepsake box, and will forever stay in my heart.

P.S. Abram made me a Mothers Day gift too. It was pen with a white flower glued to the top with green pipe cleaners wrapped around the length of it. He is the one the worries the most about the upcoming holiday and making sure that everyone gets a little something from him. :)

Sniper Babies!

2009-05-08T07:41:00.000-07:00

Oh where to begin...

Yesterday was a long day. I wouldn't say a bad day, but one that was full of conflict. It seems to be my battle lately. Everything is coming at me at once and I'm barely keeping my head above water. So where should I start? The younger boys, or the older boys? Let's go with the bigger situation yesterday....Boaz and Roman. Yes, I think that is the right decision. Let me run with it.

Well Boaz is teething his second set of one year molars. They are beastly to cut for him. I'm not sure if he is aware of his split personality at only one year, but I sure am. My happy go lucky tot will be waddling around wherever I am doing my chores, then all of a sudden he turns into the Incredible Hulk and throws a well rehearsed little fit. Actually, I may be a little more forgiving of the tantrum if he actually took on the traits of the Incredible Hulk, because at least there would be warning. I mean he would turn green and his tiny clothes would tear and shred right before my eyes and therefore I would at least feel prepared that an outburst was coming. No, what is a better way to describe this. Hmmmm.....oh I got it...he's a sniper. Yep, a well hidden sniper. He is mosying along being good, minding his own tiny business, and then all of a sudden something makes him pull his hair trigger; something gets launched in to the air and may land on Popeye (our dog) or will come skidding across the tile or wood floor. Of course, that isn't enough to satisfy his flesh. He then must collapse to the floor and I don't mean without any care, no it's more like he glances through his peripheral vision to make sure his brilliant little noggin doesn't get any bumps or bruises in the landing. It's actually quite a graceful fit throwing. The only thing he is unaware of his how orchestrated it looks. Knowing that he is going to make sure that his body makes a soft landing I pretty much ignore them. To which he lays there silently, requiring no more attention, surprisingly. I think he is just recharging his batteries before he gets up and snipes off another fit, personally.

Okay, so by the end of the day I'm beginning to think about church at 7:30pm. Oh boy...this should be fun. So we do the diaper bag shuffle right before we walk out the door and we are off, perfectly aware that I am heading in to battle with my toddlers. I must... stay.... focused.

So when we get to church I see some visiting brethren pull up. It's our wonderful stand-bys and I can't tell you how much that means to me, but I also know it's not only home brethren with our 20 something kids. I must make sure my arsenal is full of ammo to keep babies behaved. Please don't act up sniper!

It begins with everyone coming in and visiting. Anthony a four year old happily sings song, "Hi Roman!" across the room. Roman stoically doesn't respond. Anthony piped off another happy hello, to which he receives a scowl. So I decide to make Roman say hi back. That goes over like a lead balloon. He lets me know he doesn't want to. I ask him if he plans on obeying me (me waiting with bated breath because this single answer will determine the rest of meeting for me), to which he hesitantly says yes. So I asked him again to say hello, to which a tiny hi was retorted. It was so tiny that his lips didn't move (yes it can be done...try it.) However, everyone smiles and it seems to have done the job. That is when meeting is about to start so I remind him to hop up on the bench and sit back. If I had had a seatbelt for all of us, and maybe a bar to lay in our laps I would have fastened them both because I knew it was going to be a bumpy emotional roller coaster ride. But since I didn't I was going to have to wing it.

From that moment on the first hymn was started and sniper boy began to pull out his little bag of tricks. He wanted up, no down...he wanted his bottle, he wanted to throw his bottle. Oh here comes the collapsing that he has been practicing all day. It would have been challenging enough with Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde, but Roman also decided to work on Abram's last nerve. You see he would point his tiny three year old index finger at anything that was entertaining Abram and demand that it be brought to him. Of course, Abram, being the eldest of the three was not impressed. He tried to share or take turns with Roman, but Mr. Roman would cry silently. Now when I say silently it doesn't sound half bad, but understand that we all knew that it was just a matter of time before the silent cry would turn into wailing. It was like waiting for a bomb to go off. Tick tock...tick tock.

So to make a very long meeting, for me, short I had to waltz both babies out, apply a little hiney pressure, and call out the big dog (Den) to take sniper boy out once (which almost never happens). At the end of the evening, after the dismissal prayer I was humbled. A little embarrassed by the circus, but at the end of the day we survived. You see I have trained many a sniper in my motherhood, and this one will be no different. No taking shelter from meeting for me. BRING IT ON BABIES!!

Blog Intentions

2009-05-06T11:12:00.000-07:00

All that I've wanted to do these last few mornings is stay in bed, but yet here I am sitting on the couch at 6:30am. I hesitated to blog this morning, wondering if I should keep my silence, wondering if I should set my blog to private, wondering how things could be so easily misinterpreted.

"Why do I blog" is the question that keeps rising to the surface of my mind. What are my intentions? It is so simple and clear, the answer bobs to the surface as fast as the question before it. I blog for me. I don't blog for money. I don't blog to persuade people. I don't blog to be some one I'm not. I blog to keep a journal of my thoughts and experiences. I hope to make a three-ring binder of all my entries for my family about my family. I don't want to forget what it was like (REALLY like) to be a mom. I want my boys and their children to know me, and to understand why Den and I are who we are today. I don't write gratitude posts insincerely. That is me. That is how I truly feel, and in writing down these emotions and rereading them later it motivates me to keep moving forward. These entries lay the foundation of my life.

My blog experience has been so positive. So positive that I've kept blogging for three years now. That is a huge accomplishment for me; for anyone. When I've contemplated closing my blog Den protests. He LOVES it! He reads it daily. In some ways it's my private message of "I love you" to him; reminding him what he is working so hard for everyday. Opening my heart and my eyes to a moment that he may not have been able to share with me, and trying to put them into words for him. In doing so, I am letting you all be a part of that. The encouraging comments and emails bless me and make me smile. They truly warm my heart. However, the negative ones are so surprising and disheartening. In fact, I can count them on one hand. I have a difficult time understanding the motive. If someone is offended or saddened by what I say I immediately go back to reread my post. Again, never finding any ill intent in them. I'm not sending out any hidden messages or have the intention of hurting someone.

I would hope that with this understanding that you would read my blog with the purpose that it is intended for. If it makes you smile continue on, if not, skip it and find one that does. Life is too short to be miserable.

When Children Are Happy

2009-05-01T08:51:00.001-07:00

Waking up to a house full of happy children is the BEST feeling.

Boaz was standing in his crib chattering his familiar baby talk. I can see him from my bed, but I am careful to keep the blankets pulled up tight around me so as to keep myself hidden from him. I can see him looking over at my bed to see if he can spot me amongst the mess of blankets and pillows in the dark room. I purposefully stay still so that I can continue to be lazy as I admire him. As he grasps the rail with one hand he squats and turns behind him to grab his comforting bottle that Daddy laid there for him before he left for work. His bottle sucking is noisy, but he is content, which is contagious. He throws his bottle back into his crib, picks it up and throws it again, practicing his technique over and over; pleased as punch with himself. I, eventually, decide that I can't lie in bed forever and hop up, much to Bo's joy. He seems a little startled to see his mama arise from the rubble of a bed that he has been spying on all morning. His arms immediately pop up, like instinct, for me to come hold him. I love his soft pudgy body. He is getting older now and toddlers are my favorite age. He holds me just as tightly as I hold him as I open my door and let the light of all the windows encompass us. I look down at Boaz to see that his expression is squinty and his baby hair is sticking up; deliciously babyFIED! (I don't care if the spell check complains about that word...it's real in my mind).

As he and I pounce down the stairs the joy factor in the house is high. I can smell french toast cooking on the stove by Isaiah, and Roman is sitting on the barstool in front of him and declares to me that "EEAH (that is what we all call Isaiah from the time that Levi couldn't pronounce his name correctly) is his BEST friend." Isaiah smiles, and in pops Abram who is always good to give me a hug and to speak of his love for his mother. Eight is such a sweet age for boys. They don't have the pride that comes with teens, and so they are a wide open book of love; to which I tear a page from daily. Levi is quick to wish me a good morning and I sit down with Boaz, a jar of baby food, and we are off and running on another good day. Thank you Lord!

Peculiar Sounds

2009-04-30T12:48:00.000-07:00

What is that sound? I'm on the phone with Sis. Marisela, having a somewhat serious conversation but I keep hearing this loud clicking from the kitchen. As I continue droning on about this and that while she patiently listens to my enlightened self I am also hunting for the culprit of the peculiar sound. You see I can talk about deep subjects while mindlessly wearing my detective cap. It's a gift that I have been cultivating for many moons, don't be jealous!

At first I believe it must be my clunky dishwasher. I mean it runs continuously, or so it seems, and there must be a loose lid or cup or something or other, but this noise doesn't fit in to that sound pattern. The only other thing that is lit up in my kitchen as I pace the room back and forth, AGAIN while yacking, is my coffee pot. Hmmm...do I dare unplug it..what will I do for caffeine stimulation? I begin to war with myself, "Maybe the sound isn't that intrusive after all", but no I decide to muster up the strength to unplug it. However, the continuous clicking still lingers on. Strange.... Then I realize it is coming from my new answering machine. Not again! You see I have so many phone issues that I am now convinced that it's a me thing, not a phone thing at all. I shared with Sis. Marisela my problem. I reveal to her my new conclusion. I have such powerful brain waves, APPARENTLY, that I blow out phone machinery. It, mysteriously, has followed me everywhere I go and now I know why. I am a mental genius and my phones can't keep up with my mental capacity. Well...I guess it's just something I have to live with....first my beauty and now my powerful intellect....so painful, but we all have our trials.

Is A Cup Just A Cup?

2009-04-29T07:25:00.000-07:00

I love coffee cups, especially the ones that are made just right. I love the ones that have a little curve to them in the center of the cup, that way when my hands are a little bit nippy I can grasp it with both hands and tuck my hands around it perfectly. The lip of the cup can't be too thick either, I don't want it to feel like I am drinking out of a bowl; the thinner the better. The handle can't be so dainty that my two fingers get stuck, because I don't know about you, but I don't want to feel like an amazon first thing in the morning. Yep, I am pretty particular about the ones that bring me joy. In fact, last Sunday I was at Sis. Tisha's house and she let me use this gorgeous cup that Bro. Matt bought her. It was so very pretty with pink flowers; very feminine, the only thing that was a little off putting for me was the size. It was huge! I mean I feared I was going to have to use the whole pot of coffee to fill it. I know to some this would have been a jackpot moment, but since I like my hot drinks painfully hot (and I do mean painfully) I knew that I wasn't going to take advantage of that enormous capacity. That was fine though I would contentedly make my light brown concoction and head back to the living room to enjoy all the ladies who were sitting around the room swapping stories. I took my seat across the room and I discovered that when I lifted up the beautiful ceramic piece to my lips the cup was so large that it actually clouded my view of the ladies I was visiting with. In fact, it made me feel a little gluttonous, as if the whole world would shut down while I took my hungry sips...lol There was some giggling for sure. So that is another important piece of criteria for myself when purchasing a cup; must be able to hold eye contact with company while simultaneuously drinking hot liquid. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my java JUST FINE over there, but it sure makes me appreciate the lovely cup that doesn't cover my entire facial features as I take a dainty sip of joe this morning. hehehe

It Just Feels Right

2009-04-27T07:44:00.000-07:00

What makes me love our little assembly? It's easy really; the love we have for each other. We had a good little meeting. The church house was full, only one bench remained personless. The singing was really nice and participation was high. Yeah I was a little sad to think about it being Bro. Lee and Sis. Cherrie's last meeting with us, but the Lord was good with his spirit.

After meeting we were all to gather at Bro. Matt and Sis. Tisha's for a hamburger/hotdog feed, and then we were going to have a send off singing for Bro. Lee and Sis. Cherrie. Other brethren had popped in from other assemblies and that was very comforting. It was a good day, and there was something in the air. As I sat on the couch next to Den I could see all the kids playing together, coming and going. Sometimes two would be paired off together and the next there would be a small herd of toddlers bonding. Teens were sitting next to each other smiling and chatting. Bro. Sean would pick up Boaz and just walk around holding him, which absolutely melted my heart. Bro. Rusty was complimenting Bro. Matt on something as I squeezed past them with my cup of coffee in hand. Den was visiting with Bro. Dean, and the older brother was sharing encouraging stories from his past. One sister was working on the quilt that all the different assemblies have put together for the Oregon campout raffle, and others were in the kitchen making sure the cookies and cobbler didn't burn. It was a well oiled machine with everyone feeling like a family; with plenty of love to go around. It felt really good, it felt right and I went home feeling quite content with our little life here.

Burger King Petition

2009-04-25T08:07:00.000-07:00

Burger King has put out a new commercial. It has Spongebob as it's main character and some women dancing around. It is highly sexual and has nothing to do with selling a hamburger. Burger King says that the commercial is geared towards adults, but we all know that SpongeBob is a child's cartoon.

Please take the time to go and put your name on this petition. We, parents, need to stand up to sexual filled content like this that are geared towards our children. Go make a difference. Last time I checked only 22 people had signed it. I know that they will need far more parents complaining before they will remove it. Let's see if we can make a difference by passing this on.

http://www.petitiononline.com/brgrking/petition.html

Putting Myself Out There

2009-04-23T07:33:00.000-07:00

I put myself out there yesterday. I got off my computer and went for my walk yesterday with Boaz and good things began to happen. The Lord must have been in it yesterday, even though they were just small things they were on my mind and encouraged me.

Okay, so on my walk I had two people drive by. One was an elderly lady who smiled and waved at me. Then the mail lady drove by and so I turned to see who it was and waved at her; she smiled, and on her way back down the road again she drove patiently slow so as to keep the dust behind her to a minimum. This way Boaz and I didn't end up eating her dirt. I mouthed, "Thank You" and she smiled and mouthed, "Your welcome." A little thing, but it made me feel good that she was being so thoughtful.

I hit Fred Meyer again, because for some reason Abram continues to grow and needs things that fit him (so annoying...hehehe) and when checking out I stood in the "family friendly" line and made mention to the cashier how I appreciated it. All little things that should be considered quite normal, but my heart was in a different place about putting forth the effort. I was encouraged, and more keenly aware of people trying to be good.

Lastly, but definitely not least I was in Barnes and Noble waiting to meet up with Den and I was wandering about the aisles looking for a particular topic when I saw a twentyish year old man who had cerebral palsy (I believe he did, since I'm not a doctor). He was walking with a backpack on and his head was tilted to the side and his hands were close to his chest. He glanced at me and I smiled back and chirped, "Hi." He smiled with surprise, and he kept my glance for a bit. I walked past him and turned the corner to look down the next aisle. As I was standing there he turned the same corner and now we were both on the same aisle again. He looked at me and so I smiled and said, "Hi again." He walked closer to me and extended his hand for a handshake. I returned the gesture. When I shook his hand it was warm and a little damp. I could tell he was nervous. It made me sad because he was "putting himself out there" and it was a little awkward. Well the handshake was a little long but I slipped my hand from his and I asked him if he was having a good day to which he tried to nod, apparently unable to speak. I said, "Good. I am having a very nice one too." Then he opened up his arms and came in for a hug, so of course I returned the hug. It was warm and nice and I responded with a thank you. Yes, I will admit it was a bit uncomfortable to be hugging a complete stranger, but I surely didn't want him to feel that from me. After he let go he continued to look my face over for a long time as I just smiled at him. I then stated that I needed to go but it was nice to meet him. He nodded again, this time a little bit of drool came from his lips. It wasn't much, but again my heart went out to him, after all I am sure there was nothing he could do about it. What a difficult thing to have to deal with for him. So I said goodbye to which he wanted another hug. I, again, gave him another and we parted ways. I thought about how unusual that moment was. I thought about the awkwardness that I felt, but at the same time I had a peace about it. I know how important touch is. I have tried to stress that to my boys and have even mentioned it in my blog. I, personally, wouldn't hug a complete stranger on a normal day, but this man was hungry for love. He was hungry for some aknowledgement, obviously he didn't get much of that. It stayed with me for the rest of the day when I would think back on it. I was thankful that God had put it on my heart to "put myself out there".

What's Happening To Our Society?!

2009-04-22T08:51:00.000-07:00

I have been reading some great posts about Miss USA, and then I read a great post over Here and it all got my mind to reeling. Actually, it makes me mad and sad all rolled in to one when I think about how horrible our society is becoming. I want to make a difference, but honestly it feels so futile sometimes, but we can't allow ourselves to just throw our hands up and give up.

My boys were talking with me this morning and they were saying how sad it is that we live in such a small town, a country town, and that very few people wave at each other when we drive by; even out here on this gravel country road with the small amount of neighbors we have. I have noticed it as well and I have found it disappointing too. I mean just yesterday I was out walking with Boaz in my jogging stroller and two cars drove by, slowly, and didn't even acknowledge our presence. It's almost like I am not supposed to be out there enjoying this warm spring day on the road because it is annoying for them to have watch out for a pedestrian. I have waved at more people, that haven't waved back, more times than I can count. It makes you not want to wave anymore. I mean a person's pride can only handle so much rejection. Now we do have a farmer, that we do business with down the road, and they are very old school and are actually very friendly. However, based on their age they grew up in a much more polite and hospitable society.

Isaiah has been going door to door in town handing out business cards letting the community know that he is willing to do yard work for them. He keeps it short and sweet, but he said that most of the people are rude and hardly give him the time of day. He said that it is rather shocking and disheartening to run into so many people with the same unfriendly frame of mind. I must agree. I remember working for people when I was a child, doing yard work and such, and they seemed thrilled to see a child being industrious. The postive side is that he finds the elderly to be ever so kind and excited to have someone willing to help them out. Again, another era that seems to know what kindness means.

The last thing I thought was interesting was how Den and I went to Fred Meyer, a grocery/everything store here in the Northwest. We were trying to choose a line to buy our groceries in, when we spotted a sign above one register that stated "Family Friendly". I thought how odd that only one register is supposably family friendly, I mean shouldn't they all be, for goodness sake. Anyway we didn't choose that line because there was a shorter one, but while we checked out I asked the lady about the sign and what it meant. She sort of scoffed and said, "Ohhhh it's for people who don't want their kids to see all the magazines and pictures." She acted as if it was completely and utterly ridiculous, but Den, as usual, piped up and said, "That is a great idea!" I mean have you seen all the magazine covers? They are so incredibly sexual now, but our society is just becoming more and more numb to all of these things. I must admit I don't make a stand like I could. Knowing what "family friendly" stands for now makes me want to use that "family friendly" register everytime. I want Fred Meyer to know that we appreciate those efforts, and we all need to use that line more often, even speak out by saying thank you for having that option.

Let's make sure we wave today around our neighborhoods. Make sure you wear a smile today. If a teenageer is actually willing to work for some money let's encourage that by telling him so. Let's show these stores that we want a cleaner, nicer, and more responsible society by choosing the lines that are trying to make a difference in stores, even if it's not so convenient. Life isn't always about convenience, nor should it be. If the line of people is ever so long in those "family friendly" lines, maybe they will see the need to make more "family friend" registers, but we ALL have to make an effort to make a difference. Put yourself out there!

Life, Time, God and Children

2009-04-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

How quickly time is going by. It's kind of scary, really. I was going through pictures from the last year or two and even some of the videos and ran across last March. I was so very pregnant and anxiously awaiting Boaz. How slow the days dragged on while in waiting, but since then the months have soared by. I look at him while at the park yesterday and see how he is already one year old. He is walking, following Roman and Hailey about, independent of me. He is Roman's little shadow; already aware that he is needing to build a strong bond with this sibling. It is amazing to me that he is rapidly becoming his own identity. It makes me sad in some ways, but my heart also runneth over that God brought him in to our life with such perfection. After all, Roman and he will be best friends, with only two years between them, and both being boys; it is such a gift. I stand amazed at God's goodness.

Of course, my mind doesn't only ponder time and my children, but myself too. I won't be around forever, even if I live a long life it will be but a vapor that appeareth for a little while on this earth. I need to make my time here impactful. Impart all the values and wisdom about the Lord into my children as much as possible, and keep my relationship with God growing as well. Trying to not let a day go by where I don't intently pour my heart out to Him is a continuous goal. After all, I want Him to know who I am when I am standing there on judgement day, and if my sons are counted in the crowd than I can say, "job well done". This is my ultimate goal in this beautiful short lived life that God has given me.

TIMMMBERRRRR

2009-04-20T08:30:00.000-07:00

Watch out for the livestock trailer!!!

Things are beginning to change around here, LITERALLY. We have had a backhoe up here knocking down trees, widening our long driveway, and deepening our creek for swimming. It is exciting and yet sort of sad to see some of the mammoth trees come down.

However, our last winter brought with it a brutal snow storm. We got over three feet of snow, and with it came down seven gigantic trees; most of which criss crossed our driveway. Everyday we would walk the driveway to see if we were trapped or not, and several days in a row we were. Thankfully, we have some strong teen sons who went with us to remove the beastly trees. It was quite an adventure being out of electricity for so long and battling our own yard.

We are hoping that after the excavation we will get a permit from the fire department saying that a fire truck can now be mobile on our driveway. Luckily, we are not paying for this, but the guy that we are lease optioning this house from. It is part of our deal to move forward with this house. Poor fellow....because this is expensive.....but it has to be done.

So today is a gorgeous day! It is promised to be about 80 degrees. I LOVE HOT WEATHER!! Seriously, it makes me so very very happy! I am thinking I might take the little ones to the fountains today. Let the beautiful sunny days commence!

Just Another Morning

2009-04-15T07:21:00.000-07:00

Once we drag little bodies out of beds the day begins.

The house in the morning is such a busy time. A time where we all focus on getting Abram out the door and discussing the plan for the day. We normally grab a cup of coffee and discuss whatever comes to mind, whether it's science, relationships, or farming it brings in a lot of debates with everyone and it is enjoyable to hear the differing opinions, and everyone gets in on the action.

While Abram and Roman are eating a bowl of cereal at the bar River, Isaiah, Levi and myself are all sitting around the large dining room table (Boaz is still in baby sleepyland). Hair is sticking up, eyes are sleepy, and saracasm is flowing, it makes me smile to see and listen to my rousing boys. Roman, feeling the energy, hops down from his barstool to get himself dressed, which normally ends up in a pair of pants that look like capris, however they aren't capris at all....nope they are a pair of Bo's pants. How he manages to fit into them around the waist is beyond me, but he does, and they are glaringly wrong since the pant hem is just below his knees. But it's just another sign of a morning routine around here. We stopped worrying about his choices and allow him to feel victorious in his clothing selection until it is time for us to send him outside or to see the real world. Besides, give him another hour and he will have found a wrestling singlet to slip on or something or other anyways.

Once Abram is driven to school, the boys part ways in the house and the routine of chores begin. Having the spring light coming through the windows, rather than winter darkness is always a help in motivating everyone to get on the stick. Which brings me to my conclusion.....I have chores to do as well......

A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words

2009-04-13T15:27:00.001-07:00

I have had zero motivation to blog. I mean life has been happening around me and it has kept us hopping over here. I normally LOVE to take these opportunities to write, but somehow I couldn't find it within myself. We had a rough winter healthwise, on top of the fact that we had an incredible loss with Zach passing away, and there have been some changes going on with our little church here (we are losing Bro. Lee and Sis. Cherrie already), and therefore there hasn't been a lot to cheer about, but I think I am finding my way again. I am hoping that by posting this it will rejuvenate my blogging spirit. Let's hope so......

We will start this presentation off with my two March 25th babies. I took them to Red Robin for a birthday dinner and a round of birthday sundaes. Den was sick with an awful flu and therefore couldn't attend, but, honestly, it was a sweet time with my two twin birthday boys. River turned 19 and Abram turned 8. I still can't get over those numbers!

Then on the 27th Boaz turned 1. He had his very own birthday cake to devour and destroy. In fact, we let any of the little kids who wanted to take a chunk of it with their hands help him out. I mean we had to show him how it was done, right? You can see Roman in the background quietly enjoying his very own slice of Abram's cake.

Here is Bro. Rusty lighting Boaz's candle. Actually, here are ALL my March babies in the same photo.....with my November baby in there to boot!

We had invited everyone at church to come to Boaz's 1st birthday and Abram's 8th. It was a heartfelt and wonderful turnout. After all, the brethren here are my family!

Okay on a different note. We remodeled the mud room in our house. I was so sick of the hodge podge of cabinets and make shift shelving that this room had. We gutted them and put in an Ikea shelf unit that stores everything neatly and beautifully. Levi painted the walls a soft blue and green and we threw a pretty little rug down to tie it all in. Now this room feels like a happy addition, rather than the dreaded space it was.

Before! The cabinet was rendered useless and just accumulated piles of stuff sitting on top of piles of stuff. It was an eye sore to me.

After: This picture shows off the handy cubed unit that allows for every item to have a home. We painted the pantry that was in that room to match, and added some cute whimsical things on the wall. I mean it's not the dreamiest space ever, after all it's a mudroom/laundry room and it is itty bitty at best, however it makes me smile now.

On a baby note:

( Boaz is a bit dirty and missed matched in this photo, but it was a great play day outside, to which brought out some quick changes of clothing as puddles and mud were explored.)
Oh yeah....Boaz has learned to walk now that he is 12 months. He is toddling all over the place. A bit wobbly, but ridiculously cute. He and Popeye are besties, and I am amazed at Popeye's patience concerning Boaz's antics. Lucky for Popeye Boaz doesn't have a great sense of aim, balance or swiftness yet.....and I emphasize YET!

Now on a dirty note......hehehe

Our flock of chickens have all grown up. We allow them to free range which makes the sight and sound of chickens around the property a very normal experience.The greater challenge is hunting for their eggs daily. I think we are finally getting down their main laying areas now. Roman and Abram love hunting/collecting them!We have three beautiful large pigs and two piglets on the ranch currently. Levi has joined the FFA program here and will be entering one of piglets in the fair this year. It was a tradition that we missed in Washington and are excited about bringing back in to our lives. We have two pastures. One on our property and one we are renting from another farmer. This gives us 5 cows to care for, but 4 of them belong to us, ( One is Rusty and Mary's). We are running a meat csa and it is really taking off. It is becoming more of a workload now, but River is taking the ranch by the reins for the most part. What a blessing he has been!

And we couldn't have pictures of our property without showing some evidence of having teen boys. You can see jeep tracks running across the pasture.....this didn't make Dad smile....nope.

And on a brighter note. Here is a beautiful picture of spring here. The sunny weather was 73 degrees that day, and it was full of promise. Spring is full of hope....hope for all things that are good. Bring in the Spring, Lord.

God Fills In The Gaps

2009-02-26T09:15:00.001-08:00

Life has been challenging lately. We have had so much sickness, and then River's accident that it seems like the trials have been pouring down rather than raining. However, I have to praise the Lord for the little things that He has been doing, even today.

River has caught a flu bug. He was been throwing up and he has a bad sore throat. I am sure that his body is just depleted from everything else. Nevertheless, this little assembly of ours has definitely seen healthier days, but I keep reminding myself that this is just a season that shall pass. Anyway, back to River.....he finally got a job around here, which is a blessing in of itself, but as soon as he got the job the second day of work he wasn't able to go because of his burn. So I called in to chat with the manager, whom was great about it, however she wasn't sure how long they would be willing to hold the position for him (after all he was new guy that had only worked one day for them). Well they held it open for him for two weeks, and then he was able to return. He returned to work only to get this flu bug the next day and he was so sick that he couldn't get from point A to point B in the house without throwing up. So, again, he had to call his employer. So you see he had only attended two days of work in the last three weeks; obviously NOT a great work record. When he called to tell them that he was going to come in but that he was very sick they told him not to worry, because for SOME ODD reason the other cook (who wasn't supposed to work) showed up and therefore they didn't need him. It was such a little miracle and such a wonderful relief.

So all that day River is in and out of sleep as the flu often does, and Den and I are praying that he makes a quick recovery because he has to go to work the next day. We, as parents, are beginning to worry that he is going to lose his job, as is River. Once he wakes up this morning he still looks like death warmed over. I am discouraged to see him still so ill. He doesn't know what to do because he hates to call them and explain it to them AGAIN. I call Den and we all pray about it, and then just wait to see what will happen. River begins to get around to go to work, and decides that they will have to tell him to go home instead of him not showing up. Just then the phone rings, it's his work. Nervously, he tells them that he still isn't well, but he plans to come in anyway. They report that they were calling to let him know that they couldn't use him today because of the snow; they just don't have any customers so far. He is relieved, and once again we stand amazed at God's great mercy. Both days that he was sick, and it looked like he wouldn't make it in God took care of it. God fills in the gaps so perfectly.

On The Other Side Of It

2009-02-24T07:54:00.000-08:00

First off, let me thank everyone for the emails and phone calls. There are some things I don't put on my blog for the entire world to be a part of, believe it or not...lol, but the ones that were a comfort and a support to our family in the last couple months have been an incredible strength. To those of you who read my blog and wonder what in the world I am babbling about I just want to say don't feel left out, it was far better to read the pleasantries of my life. In fact, I was happy to think and post on good things.

Which leads me to trials. I felt something was on the horizon at the beginning of our arduous trail, but I had no idea that it would last so long and be such an uphill climb. Towards the end I was growing ever so weary and even shedded some tears pleading with the Lord to bring it to an end soon. God, and only God, knows our limitations, and often times takes us to our most vulnerable point only to rescue us like a knight in shining armor. I am ever so grateful for the brave and valiant rescue and that all is finally well. He truly is my hero!

So that leaves me trying to get back into a routine. There is much to do, much we have been behind on, in fact it is still challenging because you know how children are after they have been sick for awhile; a little whiney and clingy. So once we have trained our little spider monkey to believe that he can truly manage a little bit on his own, we will resume our wonderful busy life again. I can't wait! No really....I can't!

14?!

2009-02-23T09:55:00.001-08:00

This is Levi at the Valentines Formal this year.

Today is Levi's 14th Birthday! How crazy to think that these boys of mine keep sneaking up in age. We are hitting the busy birthday season in this house, so prepare yourself for several birthday wishes and posts in the next 8 weeks.

Levi, Levi, Levi.....what can I say about Levi? Plenty! He came six days late, and he decided that he just had to arrive on the day that I was battling the flu. I was so sick with it that when I had my first piercing labor pain I cried for a few minutes because I knew I was in trouble....he was coming no matter how I felt. No pain, no gain though. He has been one of the greatest gains in my life!

When he was a toddler he was incredibly shy. In fact, when he went to kindergarten they thought he was so shy that they gave him a private evaluation to see if maybe he was being abused. I, of course, wasn't told about this evaluation until he passed it with flying colors (needless to say I wasn't thrilled about the secrecy, however I do understand the need for it.) Then in the middle of the school year we transferred schools and once we put him into a new kindergarten they did the evaluation AGAIN! Thankfully, all was and is well with his family life....lol, but that should speak to his incredible bashfulness.

He was so grumpy about attention when he was a tot that when he would go places with me people would think he was so cute and say "Hello" to him, frequently, to which he would respond with a deep furrowed brow and turn away. I would apologize, but what could I do? I had to work on his heart and continue to give him security in his little world. This turned out to be the best thing I could have done because he has turned out to be a very funny, outgoing, gregarious young man. He is very sharp, sweet and quick with his wit. He can keep his mama on his toes with his silliness, and that is tough to do.....hehehe

We are working on building him into a strong, independent, self motivating man. Being the third child the older boys have done a lot of chores for him in his youth, after all he was the baby for six years. The flip side with the boys is that being the third brother they have bossed him around, however it only made him very giving (yet a little too pliable to their will). Both sides of this have their beauty and yet both sides have their difficulties. Teaching him to lead his younger brothers with strength and kindness is a current conversation we are having, but also standing up to his older brothers clear enough to have his own voice and style is a work in progress. I can see why the middle child syndrome is an obstacle in many families.

Anyway, my Levi Den is one of the sweetest souls. He would do anything for any of us. He is the first one to sacrifice going somewhere and volunteering to babysit. He may not truly WANT to do it, but he is always extremely willing and kind in spirit when doing so. He will take over a job or task for someone because he is very compassionate and sensitive to others feelings.

I am so thankful for him and I pray that I can be the best mom to him that God intended me to be. After all, I am a continuous work in progress to be the kind of mom God intended him to have. Happy Birthday, Levi Den, we love and need you so much!

This Ones For You Den

2009-02-09T21:04:00.000-08:00

Another lovely mother and son conversation between Abram and myself.

Setting: In the car driving home.

Abram: Mom, Jarred says that this girl named Courtney has a crush on me.

Mom: Oh really?

Abram: Yeah, but I said IN YOUR DREAMS!

Mom: Why would you say that?

Abram: Because she is mean to me. She calls me retarded and stuff.

Mom: Ohhh...well then Jarred is probably right, because normally a girl is kind of mean to you when she likes you.

Abram: All girls?

Mom: Well it's more of a rule for little kids, but yeah you can sort of assume that a girl likes you if she is kind of mean to you.

Abram: Ohhhh...is that why you are mean to Dad sometimes?

Mom: I'm NOT mean to your Dad.

Den begged me to post this conversation, and since I am an angelic wife I decided to oblige....hehehe

Wittle Kisses

2009-02-09T11:01:00.000-08:00

As you can see the boys are on the mend. What a great feeling! They are even sharing a banana.

Then Boaz decides he would also like a bite of my english muffin, and I am hoping to get a kiss for it. Notice Roman is feeling sorry for himself in the background....lol

Boaz is debating whether I DESERVE his wittle kiss.......

Apparently NOT.....hahaha, however Roman says he will give me one but I haven't even asked himmmmm.....

So, of course, I want one....I'm not crazy! hehehe

Pearls of Wisdom

2009-02-04T12:49:00.000-08:00

Well it's a ridiculous hour to be up, but here I sit. My head was throbbing all evening and apparently through the night stealing my sleep from me. So I finally gave up and took a hot bath to see if I could get it to go away. As I laid in the hot water my mind went back in time and took me to little pearls of wisdom that my Dad spoke to me while growing up. I had to smile at the many of them that I have taken to heart and have handed down to my children. Here are just a few:

People only think about you a small fraction of the amount that you think they do. Now what he meant by this is that we sometimes believe that someone cares about what we said, or what we wore, etc., but the truth is THEY are worried about what they said, or what they wore, way more. It's the nature of the beast. I tell my boys this when they are making too much of something, and it's good to remind myself of these things after I have done or said something that was humiliating....hehehe

My Dad was a firm believer of a schedule and getting up early. I wasn't crazy about this when I was younger, but us girls obeyed it, of course. To this day, in all the years that I have been raising my boys I have them get up at 7am, except on weekends. Even though we have homeschooled the majority of their lives I believed in training them the way they should go. After all, I want my boys to be used to getting up each and every morning for work as they get older, and this way they won't miss what they never had. (This rule doesn't apply to sickness and such, needless to say.)

He also encouraged us girls to attack our fears head on. If we were nervous about something, just get it over with. He said he struggled with this and that he found it to be the best way. I agree, although as a teen I hated it. However, rarely are you worse off for any experience that you try to stretch yourself.

There was a firm belief in the tithe. He said that he believed that you would be blessed for it. Give, even if you don't think you truly can, that is when God can and will truly bless you.

I was taught that real and authentic love will be very forgiving. Not blind, not foolish, but forgiving.

I remember him saying, a few times, that if you have enough CLOSE friends to count on an entire hand at the end of your life that you would be blessed. He said as a teenager you think that everyone will be your friend for the rest of your adulthood, but as life goes on your true ones, your confidantes, are rare and difficult to count on one hand. Although I believe that we, the brethren, have a rare and special relationship with each other, I know that the people that I call when I need to pour my heart out to, personally, are few.

Which leads me to the other pearl. Take special care of those relationships. They are worth their weight in gold. Let them know you love them, often. I try to do exactly that.

What pearls do you have? Share them with the rest of us.

The BEST Girls

2009-02-02T22:25:00.000-08:00

As my boys begin to explore the idea of finding a girl for marriage I find myself giving them more and more tidbits of advice as to what to look for. I find myself telling them to wait for the BEST. They deserve the BEST, in fact, everyone does, but what does the BEST look like? Well the best isn't the girl who wins the BEST in a beauty contest (beauty fades I remind them), nor is it one that wears the BEST clothes (fashions come and go), and it sure isn't the one who wins the BEST in a popularity contest (those are only numbers).

No....the BEST is far different and far above rubies.

My advice to my boys is to find the girl who has the BEST heart towards the Lord. The girl who loves to cook/bake for those she loves, and can make the BEST cherry cobbler in her man's eyes. How about the girl that will give you the BEST smile at the end of a long hard day and knows the BEST thing to say to comfort you. Ohhhh and don't forget the girl who will give your children the very BEST of herself in the wee hours of the morning, when the babies are crying out. Maybe she will know the BEST lullabye to lull them back to sleep. Look for the kind of girl that will know what to say to your child when their head hangs low, like, "You're the very BEST to me, honey."

Just remember that you want to give her the BEST too. You will need to remember to save your BEST hug for her in the evening, and tell her that she was the BEST thought you had all day. You will want to lead her the BEST you know how; to help her feel safe and secure, and you can do this by giving your very first and BEST to God each and every day. If you do these things you will find the very BEST friend you have ever had. You will have the BEST life that you ever dreamed of.

Yep, I want my boys to have the very BEST, don't you?

Puddles of Babies

2009-02-01T21:17:00.000-08:00

Sitting alongside of me this evening is my little Boaz. We are attached to the hip lately and so wherever I go, he goes. In fact, he believes that his entire happiness depends on being propped somewhere on my body. However, I somehow have managed to plop down on my king size bed, laptop in front of me, of course a good Nickleodeon show, and our littlest family member is managing to sustain is happiness without me. Well as long as I'm within wallowing distance. What a good feeling!

As I glance his direction he is so engrossed in a toddler show that I can admire him without drawing his attention. He has a crisp white diaper wrapped around his chubby bottom, with fat dimply legs curled up indian style in front of him. His little green t-shirt fits him loosely, with his sweet tubby arms protruding from the short sleeves. He is in the perfect position to let me visually drool over his fat dented elbows and extra rolls of fat on his wrists. I mean perfection doesn't come in a prettier package. To see this tiny human puddled up in the center of my bed is amazing to me sometimes. How did I become so blessed? I love having a baby!

Is This The Reason I Have Homeschooled?!

2009-01-29T19:36:00.000-08:00

Abram was standing inside the picture window of his elementary school with his backpack and jacket in his hand.....waiting....and worrying; wondering if anyone was coming for him. When he saw Mary's vehicle pull up in the turn around outside the main door you could see the stress drain from his little face as he ran outside to greet me. I had jumped out of the vehicle quickly to apologize and embrace him. When he ran to me and stopped in my arms he cried quietly. The unexpected silent outburst broke my heart and I shed a tear too. I couldn't apologize enough. I wanted to say something magical to make that hour go away, but instead I found myself saying the same thing over and over, "I'm sorry." He was sweet about it and quickly felt the need to put my mind at ease by reassuring me that it was okay, but I knew it really wasn't.

So how did this moment transpire? How did we happen to end the day in this unforgettable way? Well it was easy, really. It took no thought at all....yes, pun intended.

Maybe there was a quiet voice whispering in Abram's ear from the get-go that morning. I don't know how it worked for him, but I know how those sorts of days begin for me. You see the bus didn't show up that morning. River had drove him down the driveway to meet it, only to discover that there was no bus service after all. There was no logical reason for the bus absence, but River proceeded to run Abram on in to school that morning.

About 11:15am I got a call from the school. That is never a good feeling; seeing the school's name and number on my caller id. I switched over to receive it, and recognized the small voice on the other end. It was Abram and he was asking for lunch money, lunch money for the lunch that was about to take place in ten minutes. He said he told River that he didn't have any money for lunch, but somehow River forgot to share that tidbit of info with me before that moment. So, we sent River to the school in an all-fire hurry to give him money to eat, thankfully he was able to enjoy it with the rest of his classmates. However, after River got home he had explained how that Abram hadn't expressed the fact that he needed money for hot lunch UNTIL they were at the school, and River had zero money to give him. (You can imagine the worry and concern that must have crossed little Abram's mind as he shut the suburban door and wandered in to school.) That is when I had learned that the bus hadn't came to pick up Abram that morning. It was important information, that later would be the undoing of the rest of Abram's day.

Fast forward to Mary coming over to go on our infamous two mile walk, the walk that after we finish we polish off with a quick trip to Starbucks to reward ourselves (the time frame being 15-20 minutes after school let out). Yes, it may be a bit counterproductive, but life is short....lol. After getting our toasty drinks we swung by the post office in our little town (approximately 45 minutes after school let out). While she ran in I saw all the children playing on the playground behind the post office at Abram's elementary school. I thought it was strange that there were still kids there, but didn't give it much of a thought beyond that (maybe it should have occurred to me that no one picked him up from school, where was that mother/son mental telepathy when you need it?). From there we headed all the way back to my house. We chatted about this, and wagged our tongues about that, without a motherly care in the world. We pulled into my driveway, and I slowly dragged myself out of the car and went inside my house to greet my boys (approximately 50 minutes after school let out). As soon as I entered the door Levi had a "got" look on his face, and asked us where Abram was. Extremely worried I responded with, "What do you mean?" He said the school called many moons ago and said that no one had picked him up. This is when the light dawned and Mary and I hightailed it back to where we were fifteen minutes prior. Which brings me back to the beginning of this story.

I was sad about that moment. I wish I could have taken it back, but life is full of those (I say with disappointment). However, life is about learning that things don't always run smoothly. Sometimes people make mistakes and you have to stand on your own two feet (for exactly an hour), but it is always good when someone you love comes to rescue you, even if you are the very reason they have to be rescued......*big heaving sigh*

Questions Answered

2009-01-29T08:27:00.000-08:00

Well....some.

I have received a steady stream of emails from good people since I started blogging asking me questions about my family and homeschooling. Most of the questions are pretty deep and I find them challenging to sum up on why or how we do something in a quick email, but I sure do my best. Hopefully, I haven't disappointed anyone. Most of those kinds of questions are better suited by watching someone's lifestyle and/or having MANY conversations over time about a subject; which I have had with some of you. I have thoroughly enjoyed them and have even giggled at some of your humor and conclusions about life raising many boys. Thanks so much for sharing with me.

So as promised (many times) I will write some of the lighter, funner questions to warm this post up. Then maybe next week I will hit on it again (dig into my emails, because I don't throw those kinds of emails away) but with more of a serious question or so. Maybe a few that I didn't feel like I was able to answer and maybe I didn't, on accident.

Okay Most Common Questions I get in an email, or even when I see a complete stranger and my six sons come up.

1. Oh My....Do you REALLY have six sons?
Answer: Yes.

Okay okay okay....I'm totally teasing....(but I do get that one ALL THE TIME!) I mean who would make that up, right?

2. How do you do it ALL?
Answer: I don't. My boys help me tremendously. They do their chores, and they babysit for Den and I frequently. They have really good hearts and they have pitched in around here since day one (don't tell them it's not normal). lol I would also say that there are many things that we don't do that smaller families do. I mean I used to be a smaller family with my first three and I began to see a change after the fourth, but more after the fifth and sixth. We don't grab the ENTIRE family to go to places just for fun, as much. My older boys don't want to go to McDonald's playland anymore. They will go with us if we promise them some food, but that isn't the way they want to spend their Saturday. If we do something as a family we do something here at the house. We divide our time amongst children while running errands and such, so that is how we do alot of things anymore. Of course, this doesn't include church or family trips, but overall we just don't do it ALL, in anyway....lol

3. How do you discipline your teens?
Answer: This is a funny one. I ground them or take something that they care about away. Honestly, they are good enough boys that I don't have to do it that often, but when I do it has a positive effect.

4. Do I secretly live in filth?
Answer: No....LOL! We can't afford to be lazy for long. I couldn't live that way. I have a hard enough time finding stuff in a clean house, I can't imagine not doing our chores everyday. Now I wouldn't say that everything is perfection. I know what that looks like. That is the way I was raised, to be honest. I was raised with only one sister and we kept our home ship/shape, but I have had to let some of those standards go. I didn't just wake up one day and say I'm not going to care about smudges on my windows, or dust on my entertainment center. Nope, I think after time you just HAVE to lower your standards here and there so that you can enjoy your family and your home. I know my boys still think that I have a ridiculously high standard, but I disagree. We let things accumulate from time to time and we don't get out the dustcloth as much as we could, and I have made wiser purchases over time. I choose things that are meant to look a little distressed (for the most part) and then I look like I'm on top of it all.....hehehe

LAST ONE FOR TODAY.

5. How do you make time for your husband, and he for you?

Answer: That is THE most important thing to me, really. Den is my everything (besides the Lord). I count on him to keep me grounded, and to talk me off the ledge on a particularly challenging day. You know the kind where everything goes wrong at once. Before we had boys old enough to babysit we hired a babysitter weekly or bi-weekly. We weren't rich, by any means, but it was OUR time. We have always tried to respect our relationship enough to incorporate that into our lives. We also go to our room at the end of a long day, close our door (after the little ones are in bed) and just watch tv, snuggle and talk. I count on my time with him, he heals me up when I am tired and grouchy. I think if you want to know the truth behind raising a big family, it starts with the bond between husband and wife. Speak positive about what you have and are doing to each other, and tell them how good of a job you see them doing. It's too easy to talk about their shortcomings when you are stressed and exhausted (I've done that too many times), but the times that we build each other up the more we have to give to everyone.

As Quiet As A Mouse

2009-01-27T19:27:00.000-08:00

It's pitch black outside and dinner is over. Den and all the boys are out for the evening...well all but Boaz and myself. This is a rare moment in this big old house. This house is used to a lot more noise and activity and it's creaking with questions as to why it is so quiet inside.

Levi stoked my little woodstove nice and hot before he and River took off to meet the brethren over at Matt and Tisha's for some American Idol. The puppy stopped whining about being put in his crate, and all we have going is the television that is running a cartoon for Mr. Boaz. Life is good, as I sit on my red couch typing on Levi's laptop computer.

Knowing that Abram was ever so excited about going to his first Cub Scouts meeting with his Daddy made me feel so pleased. Anytime we, as parents, make our children happy is a good day. Now when we can make them all happy at the end of the day we know we have to stop and count our blessings. So that is what I am doing.....taking this moment to count my blessings because everyone is happy and content. I mean I don't think we take as much time appreciating the little things in this life....I know I don't. *big joyous sigh*